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Some Christmas Advice

Christmas is my favorite time of the year.

I grew up in the northern part of Wisconsin, and my most valuable and tenderest recollections are my Christmases.  I was raised in a Norwegian Lutheran church, (Think: Lutefisk.). Many memories flow from that; the cold, the snow and the tree, and the presents.  I’m a ‘wealthy’ man through all of these great memories. 
Even when it was really hard, it was still very good.

I remember our annual Nativity play at Church. I fondly remember the sticky, caramel-covered ‘popcorn ball’ each one of us would get from the church ladies’ aid.  I also remember a very bleak Christmas when there was no money to be had for presents. I will always remember how a local charity came through at the last minute with gifts. I was profoundly touched by all of this, and more. 

But I have no real way of instilling any of this in you. 

However, I do exhort you to go out of your way to minister to the young hearts you have contact with.  Help them believe.  Make it easy for them to touch the miracle of the manger.  Let them leave your company yearning for  God’s presence in their day. 

It won’t take much, maybe keen imagination on your part and humble prayer.  But those things you do may spark, ignite and become a blaze that will direct them through their lives.  Be kinder than you need to be. Purposefully do something that will impact them, even small things often carry an astonishingly strong influence.

You may be in the thick of it. But be kinder than you need to be.

Just maybe you have lost the purpose and meaning of this day. But I’m pretty sure any failure isn’t permanent. At least, try to do as much as you’re able. All it takes is a tiny spark to become a blaze.

“It is good to be children sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its mighty Founder was a child Himself.”

– Charles Dickens

A Lutefisk History – Lutefisk Recipe 

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Jesus is My Apple Tree

apple-tree

“Like the finest apple tree in the orchard
    is my lover among other young men.
I sit in his delightful shade
    and taste his delicious fruit.”

Song of Solomon 2:3, NLT

Jesus is my apple tree. He keeps my dying soul alive.

He is the subject of many different metaphors. We know Him as a shepherd, a door, and bread. There are many other ‘pictures’ in Scripture that speak of his ministry and life. There is one that strikes me today, that of Jesus Christ as a life-giving tree– an apple tree. Song of Solomon 2:3 and Revelation 22:1 are the ‘roots’ of this wondrous thought.

“On each side of the river grew a tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, with a fresh crop each month. The leaves were used for medicine to heal the nations.”

Rev. 22:2

To think of Jesus as ‘the tree of life’ or an apple tree is both an honor to Him and a strength for us. We can swirl metaphors around all day and never exhaust their truths. Jesus, “the apple tree,” is seen imparting life and healing through His fruit. He is the source of everything good and grand in our lives. Eating His fruit is not only significant but encouraged. 

The young maiden in Song of Solomon has given us her take on Jesus– her shepherd, lover, and king. She sees him as the finest in the forest. He provides shade to her, as she eats the fruit of his branches.

Oh, what a worthy picture of Jesus our Savior.

We can look at this all day. As we come to Him we can see the One who is gifting each of us his blessings. We do well to consider him this way.  It honors Him.

There is a song, based on an anonymous poem, first appeared in a New England hymn collection by a New Hampshire preacher in 1784, so it has a history. Many people sing this as a Christmas carol, although there is nothing in the words that refer to Christmas. Go through each stanza. See if it fits you. Perhaps it will cause you to see Jesus in a new way.

Here is the poem in its entirety:

Jesus Christ, the Apple Tree

The tree of life my soul hath seen,
Laden with fruit and always green:
The tree of life my soul hath seen,
Laden with fruit and always green:
The trees of nature fruitless be
Compared with Christ the apple tree.

His beauty doth all things excel:
By faith I know, but ne’er can tell,
His beauty doth all things excel:
By faith I know, but ne’er can tell,
The glory which I now can see
In Jesus Christ the apple tree.

For happiness I long have sought,
And pleasure dearly I have bought:
For happiness I long have sought,
And pleasure dearly I have bought:
I missed of all; but now I see
‘Tis found in Christ the apple tree.

This fruit doth make my soul to thrive,
It keeps my dying faith alive;
This fruit doth make my soul to thrive,
It keeps my dying faith alive;
Which makes my soul in haste to be
With Jesus Christ the apple tree.

“Consider Jesus. Know Jesus. Learn what kind of Person it is you say you trust and love and worship. Soak in the shadow of Jesus. Saturate your soul with the ways of Jesus. Watch Him. Listen to Him. Stand in awe of Him. Let Him overwhelm you with the way He is.”   

John Piper

 

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The Manger and the Cross

“The Almighty appeared on earth as a helpless human baby, needing to be fed and changed and taught to talk like any other child. The more you think about it, the more staggering it gets. Nothing in fiction is so fantastic as this truth of the Incarnation.”

—J.I.Packer

There is no question about it, the incarnation drives us to a point of decision. We all stand as individuals at the manger, and we leave either knowing we have gazed into the face of God; or we see nothing but a baby.

The Gospel expects nothing, and demands everything. We move through life, taking our lumps, figuring it out as we go along. As Adam’s sons and daughters we live a charmed, and albeit, a frustrated life. We are each given a spark. Some labor to fan it into flame, others grab a bucket of water.

What will you do with this God-Man, Jesus of Nazareth?

Does the fact that God became flesh, funneling himself into a baby, grip you at a fundamental level? Does it really matter? Can you live with yourself if you step away from his cradle, without giving him your heart?

The Bible tell us that the squalling infant Jesus came and developed into a man. That “man-god” went on to teach, preach and heal at astounding pace. In three years of ministry, he lit up his world. Everywhere he went, he was always the eye of a hurricane.

The Bible teacher John MacArthur posits this for us:

“If we could condense all the truths of Christmas into only three words, these would be the words: “God with us.” 

We tend to focus our attention at Christmas on the infancy of Christ. The greater truth of the holiday is His deity. More astonishing than a baby in the manger is the truth that this promised baby is the omnipotent Creator of the heavens and the earth!

There were many who saw the babe, but did not see the salvation.

Make a decision, and then keep making it.

So what are you going to do? Will you decide to follow him into his light and love? I feel compelled to ask you, do you know what is real? This Christmas we are celebrating the birth of God into the child, Jesus. We must do something with him. This is a real decision point we all must make. Not to decide is a decision.

We can be sure of heaven and eternal life.

You can know Jesus definitively. Let me know of your decision to accept Christ and I will pray for you, and will send you things that will help.

“You can never truly enjoy Christmas until you can look up into the Father’s face and tell him you have received his Christmas gift.”

     John R. Rice

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Star Witnesses

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified.”

“But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord.”

– Luke 2:8-11

These shepherds were watchful.  They’re a careful bunch, very much on guard as they look over the flocks.  (Actually, this is quite marvelous in itself. There is a ‘brain-numbing’ issue that afflicts shepherds at 2 am.)  They see everything this deep, dark night.

These humble shepherds will make excellent ‘star’ witnesses.

The angels carefully watch as well.  I’m guessing the ‘appearance’  frightens in a very deep way.  The Bible uses this powerful word–‘terrified‘.  (Doesn’t that word just push through, and doesn’t it make us seem as though we no longer have control over reality?) Needless to say, the shepherds are pretty scrambled.

All of a sudden, an angel appears and things start getting strange.  The weirdness quickly grows, uneasiness at first, and then a trembling type of fear.  Fear is a very good way to a deep understanding of things that are pretty much out of our league.

Reality is now going to be interpreted God’s way, under His terms. We fear first, and faith follows. That seems to be the pattern.

But the angels are very quick to ‘defuse the fear.’ 

They see that they need to do something to stem the shepherd’s panic.  One of the things they do is to speak a promise and a solid hope.  And the shepherds are like dry sponges,  and they truly absorb all that happens. They are the ‘official’ witnesses to this night’s events.

The ‘angel’ has carried a very significant message. “‘Have absolutely no fear’!  I carry to you, an awesome word, that all of your terrible sins, are quite forgiven.  There is someone special, a Savior. This baby is the Messiah, Christ the Lord.'” 

“A Savior is born.”  He hasn’t ‘appeared,’ or even ‘arrived’ as a full-bodied man, but He has been born.  This reliance on ‘old-fashioned’ approach, brings a much slower development to His message.  A birth slows everything down. It’s like ‘slow motion’ TV.  It forces things to develop in a slower, natural and a timely way. Everyone looks, some wait.

But Jesus has been ‘born’.  But have no doubt, He is the ‘Messiah’ and He is the King of Kings, and He is the One who has been eternally chosen to die.  

Just wait and see.

“The Christmas message is that there is hope for a ruined humanity–hope of pardon, hope of peace with God, hope of glory–because at the Father’s will Jesus became poor, and was born in a stable so that thirty years later He might hang on a cross.”   

J.I. Packer

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The Weakest Link is Us

power-and-weakness

“Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were uneducated, common men, they were astonished. And they recognized that they had been with Jesus.”

Acts 4:13

“God created the world out of nothing, and so long as we are nothing, He can make something out of us.”  

—Martin Luther

Consider this: the jawbone of a donkey, a sling shot. and barley loaves, a woman’s tears, a young boy’s lunch, a young colt, and a talking donkey, they all suggest that God touches the common and the insignificant. He uses what we consider of minor importance.

We often turn to the talented and gifted far too readily.

Peter and John are being seen by the Sanhedrin (the Jewish “Supreme Court”). They are to give account of themselves before the highest court of the land. There had been a healing, and there was the matter of preaching as well. Both Peter and John exude a confidence that these religious leaders couldn’t deny. Their perception was that they were ignorant men. Uneducated and common. But, they also knew they had been with Jesus.

However, in the minds of the leadership, they were nothing more than religious white trash.

God loves to use what we consider common. His revealed history has been to take anything at His disposal and utilize it to redeem lost souls. A staff or a sling-shot are used with an adroitness that seems extraordinary among men. The things we think are simple and common are used to further God’s work among mankind.

But the message always returns back to the preachers. The Sanhedrin knew of the disciples preaching. They had absorbed the fact of a miracle; a crippled man had just been healed. (This they couldn’t deny.) But they were troubled. And they didn’t really know what to do.

What more could this be, but a direct intervention of God? And yet, God is working through extremely “common people.” Then let’s look…

“…if we are being examined today concerning a good deed done to a crippled man, by what means this man has been healed,”

Acts 4:9

Within this preaching was woven this healing. The Holy Spirit was ‘rocking their  world.’ The people who came in contact with these disciples would never be the same. Paul tells the Corinthian church that:

“Instead, God chose things the world considers foolish in order to shame those who think they are wise. And he chose things that are powerless to shame those who are powerful.”

1 Corinthians 1:27, NLT

If God has a specialty it would be this. He desires all the glory. He goes out of the way to use the broken and weak. He shows His strength through insignificant and minor things and people. This is His heart given to nobodies.

“We are all wounded. But wounds are necessary for his healing light to enter into our beings. Without wounds and failure and frustrations and defeats, there will be no opening for his brilliance to trickle in and invade our lives.”
“Failures in life are courses with very high tuition fees, so I don’t cut classes and miss my lessons: on humility, on patience, on hope, on asking others for help, on listening to God, on trying again and again and again.”

Bo Sanchez

 

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I’m Disappointed in Myself

We read of the “Romans 7” man.

  • For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh.
  • For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. 
  • For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 

Romans 7:18-19, ESV

When we struggle like this we can safely assume that we’re trying to be holy and accepted by God apart from the grace of God. Our efforts to please Him fall woefully short. This frustration is when we try to keep the Law and neglect to walk in the Spirit.

To be disappointed in your behavior is not grace. To continue living like this becomes deception and hypocrisy. Most of all it creates a vicious wall between your walk and God’s love. A barrier between you and others.

The tension of Romans 7 is real. Every believer will encounters it.

The Scriptures teach us the depravity of man. All we do, even our best efforts and noblest actions are selfish and corrupt. As we understand this we end up realizing that there is a vast gulf between our aspirations and our actions.

“We are all infected and impure with sin.
    When we display our righteous deeds,
    they are nothing but filthy rags.”

Isaiah 64:6

We have a problem when our heart doesn’t match our actions. I’ve worked through the obvious. And yet it gets a little hairy when our ‘little’ sins are visible to others. We feel like hypocrites and we know that our testimony is officially ‘toast.’

“Many have passed the rocks of gross sins – who have suffered shipwreck upon the sands of self-righteousness.”

    William Secker

Romans 7 describes what is wrong with us, it seems we are attempting to please God by our own efforts.

In Romans 7 we read of a man who is constantly disappointed in himself. It can be wrenching to read– partly because it is so real. It describes us too well. At times the Word is like looking into a mirror.

“How can you be so inconsistent? I feel like there are two ‘Bryans,’ I don’t understand how you can live like this.”

This is what a dear friend said to me recently. I was flabbergasted. I didn’t know how to answer. It was a bit embarrassing, but I couldn’t respond. Later, the Spirit ministered to me while praying about it.

The Lord spoke, “He has no idea how bad you really are. Don’t you dare defend yourself!’

I now realize I should have said this to my friend. “You’re absolutely right, I am a bit of a flake. But you only see the veneer, deep down  I’m much worse than you will ever know. I can’t defend my actions, and I desperately need a Savior. Would you pray for me to work this out? I need Jesus”

The daily struggle with sin and personal failure is sometimes more visible than we would like. Even as a believer I can and do sin. That should surprise no one, and yet, it seems I’m the most amazed when sin inevitably breaks out. At times I feel like I specialize in inconsistency.

I wonder when we boldly ‘strut’ into His presence if the angels don’t ‘roll their eyes?’

Whenever we come before God, we should never show up with our list of great things we have recently done for Him. It won’t be accepted. They are at best, filthy rags. They’re not fit for a King’s court. But yet we keep coming, parading our dirty, grimy rags.

We keep forgetting that only Christ’s righteousness is accepted in God’s eyes.

“The greatest enemy to human souls is the self-righteous spirit which makes men look to themselves for salvation.”

Charles Spurgeon


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Understanding Depersonalization

mental-illness-unsure
 Definition by Mayo Clinic staff

Depersonalization is a sense that things around you aren’t real, or the feeling that you’re observing yourself from outside your body. Feelings of depersonalization can be very disturbing and may feel like you’re losing your grip on reality or living in a dream.

A lot of people have a passing experience of depersonalization at some point. But when feelings of depersonalization keep occurring, or never completely go away, it’s considered depersonalization disorder. Depersonalization disorder can be severe and may interfere with relationships, work and other daily activities. It will sometimes ‘piggyback’ on other mental disorder, like Bipolar or PTSD.

Depersonalization disorder symptoms include:

  • Continuous or recurring feelings that you’re an outside observer of your thoughts, your body or parts of your body
  • Numbing of your senses or responses to the world around you
  • Feeling like a robot or feeling like you’re living in a dream or in a movie
  • The sensation that you aren’t in control of your actions, including speaking
  • Awareness that your sense of detachment is only a feeling, and not reality

Other symptoms can include:

  • The sense that your body, legs or arms appear distorted, enlarged or shrunken
  • Feeling like you are observing yourself from above, as if you were floating in the air
  • Feeling emotionally disconnected from people you care about

While episodes of depersonalization may last only a short time, some people with depersonalization disorder have episodes that last hours, days, weeks or even months at a time. In some people these episodes turn into ongoing feelings of depersonalization that may periodically get better or worse.

When to see a doctor

Passing feelings of depersonalization are common, and aren’t necessarily a cause for concern. But ongoing or severe feelings of detachment can be a sign of depersonalization disorder or another physical or mental health condition. See a doctor if you have feelings of depersonalization that:

  • Are disturbing you or are emotionally disruptive
  • Don’t go away, or keep coming back
  • Interfere with work, relationships or daily activities
  • Disrupt your family

Depersonalation can last just a few hours or more. It is believed that this is a response to anxiety—as the root cause. Panic attacks (acute anxiety) are often the culprit behind DP,

Useful Depersonalization Sites  (That I can recommend)

https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9791-depersonalization-derealization-disorder

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/depersonalization/DS01149

© 1998-2009 Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER). All rights reserved. A single copy of these materials may be reprinted for noncommercial personal use only. “Mayo,” “Mayo Clinic,” “MayoClinic.com,” “EmbodyHealth,” “Reliable tools for healthier lives,” “Enhance your life,” and the triple-shield Mayo Clinic logo are trademarks of Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research.

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God Must Hear Your Heart

 

There are different ways God uses to hear your heart. Your voice, actions and attitudes are all subject to His evaluation and analysis. He is continually watching us. He uses His divine stethoscope to know us.

“Yet even now,” declares the Lord,
    “return to me with all your heart,
with fasting, with weeping, and with mourning;
13     and rend your hearts and not your garments.”
Return to the Lord your God,
    for he is gracious and merciful,
slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love;
    and he relents over disaster.
14 Who knows whether he will not turn and relent,
    and leave a blessing behind him,”

Joel 2:12-14

The Old Testament prophet Joel is also interested in the human heart. His words make that a central issue. He diminishes the outward that doesn’t include the inward. (Unfortunately, it is easier “to be seen” rather than “to be.“)

“Rend your hearts and not your garments.”

This is God’s very real word to a wayward people. To “rend” means to tear and it is perhaps the most critical attribute for a wayward heart.

I’m convinced that we must learn what it means to repent everyday. It is never completely done–never once and then you’re finished with it.

We also seem to have this strange tendency to reduce repentance to outward actions. We however must stress the inward rather than the outward. We must go deeper, and take repentance right down to the deepest core.

True repentance must go as deep as you can go, and be truly proven before we claim a victory.

God desires to hear your heart. The Holy Spirit is going to insist on it. (But He will also be a loving Guide.)

“Blessed are those who mourn [especially them], for they shall be comforted.”

Matthew 5:4, Emphasis mine

“To do so no more is the truest repentance.” —Martin Luther

 

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The Bipolar Believer

BipolarArt4

“Unstable as water, you shall not have preeminence.”

Genesis 49:4

“And for those who live in the land where death casts its shadow, a light has shined”

Matthew 4:16

I’ve been down this road before. I’m not surprised by anything.

I guess this is my big issue with Bipolar Disorder (BP);  its unpredictability, and the way you fluctuate.  You get up in the morning and you immediately have to start analyzing your mood. 

“Am I more depressed than I was yesterday, or I am speeding up?” Am I acting appropriately, or am I stepping out of line again?”

For  B.P. people, we can never be totally sure about anything. 

We are always in a state of flux or movement.  As BPs who are believers in Jesus, it seems like we have broken every rule in the book, twice. This disorder almost always demands certain hypocrisy– which instills a lot of guilt and shame.

Almost 40 years ago, a visiting pastor to our church came up to me and told me that he had a word from God, especially for me. This was long before I was diagnosed with Bipolar. I can’t remember much, but I do recall him saying, “You are as unstable as water”. 

But I can also see now that my instability has made me a deeper, more tolerant person. 

I now give a lot of latitude to others’ shortcomings.  I know how difficult it is to process life and face issues.  Because I do this “yo-yo” thing, I can accept inconsistency as a normal part of life.  I realize that I’m not perfect, nor is anyone else I know. I’m learning to make allowances for it. 

Sometimes, just being aware is half the battle. And I’m starting to understand how God’s grace is given to others.

I’m learning to be gracious. I’m learning how to love, I think. Maybe this weakness is becoming a strength for me. I hope so.

“And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.”

2 Corinthians 12:9, NASB

 

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Nothing But Leaves

“Seeing at a distance a fig tree in leaf, He went to see if perhaps He would find anything on it; and when He came to it, He found nothing but leaves, for it was not the season for figs.”

Mark 11:13, NASB

Perplexing isn’t it?  I personally have had a certain amount of ambiguity with this passage.  I have questions that I’ve swept under the rug.  Why did that poor tree get cursed?  It wasn’t the trees fault, after all.  And didn’t Jesus realize this?  So why go through the theatrics?

I don’t know if this is the case with anyone else. 

I hesitate to ask around.  But recently have come to a better place about this entire event.  The traditional view is that it comes immediately after “the cleansing of the temple” and that explains a lot.  The fig tree is always emblematic of Israel.  (The Old Testament is well populated with these references.) The disciple Mark adroitly organized his Gospel in order to connect both events.

I assure you, Jesus has no issues or vendettas against trees.  😁

But He does take an issue with things that claim fruit, but really have nothing.  There’s nothing but leaves. I’ve been told that the figs do grow, almost as fast as leaves.  The lush greenness is the prime indicator of the succulent fruit. At least, in theory, it has the potential.

Luke 12:7-9,

“Look, for three years now I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree, and I find none. Cut it down. Why should it use up the ground?’ 8 And he answered him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and put on manure. 9 Then if it should bear fruit next year, well and good; but if not, you can cut it down.’”

 

The beautiful leaves declare its fruitfulness.  This tree was loaded, but had nothing to show but leaves.  Within God’s plan for Israel was for fruit.  Enough to feed the nations that would stream to Jerusalem.  Instead, it was worthless.  There was nothing to be had.  Loads of leaves, and the promise of an incredible harvest, but zilch, zero, nothing.

Hypocrisy is a deadening experience, with a definite sterility.

Israel was finding this out, and Jesus is now declaring it to the nation.  A corrupt temple, and a fruitless tree; this were all indicators of hypocrisy and showiness.  The luxuriant leaves loaded the tree, but ‘where’s the fruit?!’

Sometimes we declare that we are fruitful, on the mere basis of our lovely leaves. 

At times maybe even green?  Leaves are pretty much all we can do.  And we do it quite well. But the fruit is from the Holy Spirit, (Galatians 5:22.)

Israel failed God.  They became religious and neglected mercy, and justice.  Humility and graciousness.  The widow and the orphan were not part of their personal equation.  They produced leaves by the wheelbarrow load, but were missing out on the authenticity to what was true, and what really mattered.

Pharisees will do this all the time.

They turn into hypocrites who do not possess what they profess. A hypocrite values true godliness, but he personally falls short of all those things he admires. But he will never, ever admit it to anyone.  And even we who struggle so, must continually admit that we stumble and falter as we try to follow.

The terrible temptation of this time is to look good without being good.

It’s the awful curse of legalistic religion, and it runs rampant in our nation today, even in our government. The Lord absolutely detests it. God help us understand, and repent from what He shows us.

Personally, I may be a ‘screwy’ excuse of being a disciple, but I have decided I don’t want to deceive people anymore. 

God, help me.

“This year, or this month, or, more likely, this very day, we have failed to practice ourselves the kind of behavior we expect from other people.”  

C.S. Lewis

 

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What Good are the Miracles of Jesus?

His touch makes the difference
His touch makes the difference

“But if I do it, even though you do not believe me, believe the miracles, that you may know and understand that the Father is in me, and I in the Father.” 

–John 10:38

The healing’s Jesus boldly attest to his claim to be God.  When we read about them, as recorded in the Gospels, we cannot doubt their real and supernatural flavor.  A normal person cannot give sight to someone who has been blind from birth.  I cannot raise a dead person, it’s simply not even in the basic realm of remote possibility.

Jesus performed hundreds and hundreds of healing’s.

Many of these are not recorded in the Scriptures except through a vague and veiled reference to them.  There were not just healing’s, but he also did miracles over natural laws.  Water gets turned into wine, He walks on the Sea of Galilee, see Him feeding 5000 people with a little boys simple lunch.

You would think that the presentation of each miracle would bring a person to faith.  But that is not the case.  We process them, and then assimilate them to the point where we can more or less nullify them.  “Sure Jesus raised a widow’s son from the dead,” we say–but then we inoculate ourselves against the truth of it.  We deafen ourselves, and by our mental silence nullify the miracle.

We roll right over it. How many miracles have we seen on any given day?

I need, I must re-visit these supernatural events again and again.  They are a tonic to my jaded soul.  These miracles require that I pick them up by their handle and make them my own.  Jesus Christ is waiting for us to accept him as supernatural, because that is what he is. Get used to it.

Does the Lord Jesus still work miracles for you?

“Remember the wonders he has done,
 His miracles, and the judgments he pronounced,”

–Psalm 105:5

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The Mangled Earrings of Joni Eareckson Tada

Joni's Mangled Earrings
Joni’s Mangled Earrings

A great lesson from Joni Eareckson Tada,

I once admired the earrings my friend, Ann, was wearing – they were square, smooth, flat, and made of gold. When I remarked how beautiful they were, she replied, “They’re yours!” Ann then proceeded to take them off and put them on my ears! Humbled by her gift, the earrings became a treasure. Once while wearing them at work, one slipped off my ear – looked but couldn’t find it, so I wheeled to my office door to ask for help.

That’s when I felt a clunk-clunk-clunk. The earring was impaled on my tire; it was ruined! That weekend I took it to a jeweler and asked, “Sir, can you make this mangled earring look like the smooth one?” He rubbed his chin and said, “I can’t make that one look like this one… But I can make this one look like that one!” He then took a mallet and hammered the smooth, square earring into a mangled mess! At first I was horrified, but now I realize that the misshapen earrings reflect the light more beautifully than when they were ‘normal.’ It’s a lesson reflected in this timeless poem:

When God wants to drill a man,
And thrill a man, and skill a man,
When God wants to make a man
To play the noblest part,
When He yearns with all His heart
To build so great and bold a man
That all the world shall be amazed,
Then watch His methods, watch His ways!
How He ruthlessly perfects,
Whom He royally elects;
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into shapes and forms of clay
Which only God can understand
While man’s tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands…
Yet God bends but never breaks
When man’s good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And with mighty power, infuses him,
With every act induces him to try
His splendor out,
God knows what He’s about.
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Visit Joni Eareckson Tada and Friends at http://www.joniandfriends.org/. Her bio can be found at http://www.joniandfriends.org/jonis-corner/jonis-bio/.

When you visit this site you will find a lot of helpful resources to some pretty useful materials on the disability needs on an international level. 

Emails, Facebook, Podcasts, TV Series, and great teachings are just part of the daily ministries available. Anyone interested in being discipled with a strong disability emphasis not always heard anywhere else really should visit.

 

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Job’s Friends, They Want to Help!

By John Piper
(The following is an edited transcript of the audio.)

Can we learn something from Job’s friends about how to help the hurting?

Absolutely. Those first seven days were their golden hour. If they had stopped there they would have been heroes, I think, because they would have shown compassion and patience. And that’s what we should learn.

When you walk into a horrific calamity you should be really slow to speak and quick to listen. You should be quick to cry, quick to hold, and quick to meet needs, bring meals, and wait upon the Lord. The theological wrestling comes later, probably. It’s different with different people.

But I think the lesson we learn from the progress of the book of Job is that while those three friends—Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar—were sitting in dust and ashes, aching with their friend Job, he was helped by them. And many people are helped just by the loving presence of another.

I don’t think this nullifies the importance of truth. Let me give you an example.

I’m a colleague here with Tom Steller, who has been with me for 24 years. And Tom and I have sometimes said to each other, “It would be great to stay together long enough to die together, Tom.” And depending upon which one of us comes to visit the other in the hospital at our dying moment, we know, because of 24 or (perhaps by then) 54 years together, we don’t have to say a word. It’s all been said.

We have a common theology.

Neither of us will have to preach to the other in order to fix their ideas. We will all know that God reigns, God is good, God is loving, and God is wise. We’re perplexed, but you don’t need to preach. Let’s just take each other’s hands and pray and fight this fight of faith together.

© Desiring God, Permissions: You are permitted and encouraged to reproduce and distribute this material in any format provided that you do not alter the wording in any way and do not charge a fee beyond the cost of reproduction. For web posting, a link to this document on our website is preferred. Any exceptions to the above must be approved by Desiring God.
Please include the following statement on any distributed copy: By John Piper. © Desiring God. Website: desiringGod.org
 
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What Could Have Been

What do you regret? As a believer it is already forgiven.

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves – regret for the past and fear of the future.”  

~Fulton Oursler

Regret is something that can really damage our lives. My dictionary defines regret as, “to feel remorse for, or to feel sorrow over something.” It’s often a difficult emotion for us, resulting in a paralysis of sorts. It is the personal sorrow about one’s behavior in a certain situation, that can be overwhelming.

There will always be a deep sense of loss for “what could have been.”

I regret many things, it seems my mind works as an active recorder. Future life continues its relentless advance, and there is from the past a constant awareness of darkness, failure and sin. Because the future comes at me so fast, I never really have time to reflect on the past.

There are some who have no idea what I’m talking about.

I might as well be speaking Chinese. But there are others who will “spark” on what I have just stated. Regret for many of us, is savage and bitter.

Not a day goes by when the voice of darkness doesn’t speak to us. My thinking is that it may be more reasonable to take a baseball bat across your femurs, and dealing with broken legs, than handling regret that has gone vicious and viral.

We think “about what could have been.” We imagine life without regret, of things we might have done not having this dark burden. However, these possible choices are things we can never be sure of.

In my younger days I dreamed of attending college, and then going to seminary. I really thought that I wanted to be a pastor, in some small Lutheran church in the Midwest. But this would never happen. It was just an aspiration, a dream. And it wasn’t reality (even though I wish it had been).

I assure you there are far more nastier and blacker regrets, there are things of which I am profoundly ashamed. But my point is this, they exist, they do unsettle us, and the present moment is corrupted by my past behavior.

I once read an interview with a prominent psychiatrist. He said something that connected with me. “Over 80% of mentally ill patients could be released from treatment if they only understand that they were forgiven.”

Regrets can be so strong, and so crippling that we will sometimes try to destroy ourselves.

You are not unique or alone. There are millions of sincere Christian believers who face what you are facing.

“The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.”

1 Cor. 10:13, NLT

I must tell you that there is a spiritual war. Satan is the enemy of our souls. He will bring to your mind fear and confusion. In scripture, he is called “the accuser of the brethren.” He has a diabolical ministry to bring you down. He operates out of pure hatred.

He will never show you any mercy.

We must develop a more scriptural method of wrapping up our minds in God’s Word. It stops and deadens the spiritual radiation from the enemy. The Word has tremendous power to halt the enemies attack. The only way to survive all of this is to dress up yourself in spiritual armor.

“Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.”

Ephesian 6:13

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Freezing a Brother

 “Bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

Colossians 3:13, ESV

Since this blog originates in Alaska, and since winter is upon us, this post seems fitting. It’s cold. And, well, I’ve been thinking about things that have happened to me recently.

We have a sinful tendency to “freeze” people that offend us.

We do it with our words, attitudes, actions. It is called unforgiveness, or stigma, or just plain contempt. It locks another person in a place were they will stay forever, and you won’t ever have to deal with them.

We glaciate others with extraordinary ease.

Someone offends me, or irritates me and I blast them. In my mind I solidify them into one spot, and there they are locked. Sealed away, and out of my thinking. I sometimes call it “discernment.” And then I can avoid those pesky urges to humble myself.

I have been frozen by others, and to be quite honest, I have been the ‘freezer’ as well.

The sad part is that we ourselves are so far from perfect. When we zap someone we will never, ever ‘receive’ from that person. We can even preclude them as outside of the grace of God. (And usually that’s what happens.)

“You offend me, and I will never forget it, and you will never be more than an evil miscreant to me.” My rationale is “life is too short for hassling with jerks like you.” But yet I can’t fully accept that idea. That is not God’s will for me, and I know it.

We end up debasing ourselves by our own unforgiveness.

We restrict others from the Holy Spirit’s transforming ability. In our mind’s eye, the wicked person will never be able to offer up anything of value. We freeze–locking them into a place. And a vast amount comes from an unforgiveness that is ‘fallen,’ and an unbelief in God’s grace and power.

Mr-Freeze-1Furthermore, any use of our ‘freeze gun’ freezes us as well. Unforgiveness turns on us (which we didn’t count on) and the effect is cumulative. We can only absorb so much an we get hard and cold.

One more thing. We do this to whole groups of people. The alcoholics, the mentally ill, other races. This can be called prejudice or stigma. Ask yourself this–have you ever been stigmatized or demonized?  You will usually know it. But we cannot afford to be controlled by our unforgiveness.

There is far too much at stake.

“And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him and let it drop (leave it, let it go), in order that your Father Who is in heaven may also forgive you your [own] failings and shortcomings and let them drop.”

Mark 11:25, Amplified

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Can You Say No?

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11 “For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age.”

Titus 2:11-12

My life runs better when I learn to say “no.”

I can’t make it any simpler. We have become part of a culture that almost always says yes. To deny ourselves the fulfillment of our particular desires seems impossible– considering our track record. We pretty much seek out our particular pleasure, and then take our lumps and absorb all the consequences.

Things then, digress and “solidify” from this point. Deeply ingrained habits become almost impossible to break. We are now being held in a very certain bondage. And all because we can’t say “no”.

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Perhaps this will become a learning point, when we start to say “no” to our desires. We can’t let temptation have its way, we must stand and say “no!” It is no sin to be tempted, Jesus was tempted, and yet did not sin against His Father.

When we consistently say no and to deny ourselves, we’re actually starting to obey and it’s then we begin to follow Him. Your discipleship depends on this.

“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Mark 8:34

The deep and earnest passion of our Father is that we learn to do this. To joyfully discover each morning  we are “will-doers.” But in order to do this we must also be “no-sayers.”

There is an unholy trinity that is working against us: the world, our flesh, and Satan. When our enemy tempts us, we must object. We must take a stand against his schemes.

Will you just say “no” to the enemy? Can you say “no?” These are questions that only you can answer.

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We Are Mere Servants

7–8 Jesus continued, “After a servant has finished his work in the field or with the livestock, he doesn’t immediately sit down to relax and eat. No, a true servant prepares the food for his master and makes sure his master is served his meal before he sits down to eat his own.
Does the true servant expect to be thanked for doing what is required of him? 10 So learn this lesson: After doing all that is commanded of you, simply say, ‘We are mere servants, undeserving of special praise, for we are just doing what is expected of us and fulfilling our duties.’”

Luke 17, TPT

Selfishness is endemic to men of all stripes. It’s in our bloodstream  It taints the most noble of actions and the most wonderful of efforts.

There is an exception for the empowered Christian. The ability to live unselfishly is the believer’s option. We can live above the issues of the worldling. To us is given the joy of obedience. Obeying God’s will is the privilege of redeemed men and women. We have the Holy Spirit’s abilities to meet the situation around us.

We serve because we’ve been served.

But we still are ”mere servants” and we shouldn’t make a big deal of our efforts. Within our most noble efforts is the possibility of falling short of the Lord’s wishes for us.

The only safe place for us is found  in a sacred humility. It is the posture of obedience which generates something enduring. You might say that humility is the wiring that keeps us from ‘shorting out.’ Being a humble person will insulate us from the holy power of any disobedience. 

I’m afraid that is the only way it’ll work.

“We had long known the Lord without realizing that meekness and lowliness of heart should be the distinguishing feature of the disciple.”

–Andrew Murray

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Standing With Her in the Rain

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“Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2, NLT

By Lisa Schubert, Guest Author

Samantha issued commands to the person on the other end of the line. When she hung up, the rant continued against our church, our staff, the weather, and this meal that would serve as her Thanksgiving dinner. I had to let her go mid-rant, but not before reminding her that I would keep her in my prayers.

Samantha approached me outside the church on Thanksgiving morning with her hair disheveled and her coat covered with dirt smudges and raindrops. She demanded to borrow my cell phone to find if the Thanksgiving dinner she had requested from a charitable organization would be ready for pick-up in an hour. I was in a hurry. I needed to be inside preparing to lead worship. I begrudgingly let her borrow my phone, but I insisted on dialing the number myself and standing with her in the gentle rain.

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My encounters with Samantha have continued over the past few months. She’s almost always confused, angry, and paranoid. She tells stories about growing up with another member of our staff, who never met her until recently. It’s hard to know how to respond to Samantha.

A friend called me recently to ask if our church had any resources for helping congregations to welcome those who struggle with mental illness. I pointed her in a few directions, including the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) at www.nami.org. Even as I offered her the information, I felt uneasy. Connecting with those who have mental illnesses is a complex, difficult journey.

It was raining again on Monday when I saw Samantha. She was sitting in the front lobby of the church. She shouted at me as I walked out the door, “Be careful out there! Two guys tried to kidnap me, and I wouldn’t want that to happen to you.” Unwilling to believe her, I replied, “Samantha, I’m sorry you had a rough morning. I’ll be thinking of you. Hope your day gets better.” I continued out the church doors and opened my umbrella.

I later discovered that Samantha was mugged that morning. Thankfully, the police believed her while I had blown her off. They arrested the alleged perpetrators that afternoon.

I’m embarrassed by my lack of gentleness and compassion toward Samantha, and I know I’m not alone. I wonder what it means for the Church to embrace, accept and listen to those who have mental illnesses. I wonder how church leaders like myself can grow and help others to deepen their care for people like Samantha.

There are no simple answers, but I think the answer starts in a simple place:

We stand with them in the rain.

Lisa Schubert is Associate Pastor of Discipleship and Formation of North United Methodist Church, Indianapolis.

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Fire Walking [Protection]

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you.
     When you cross rivers, you will not drown.
    When you walk through fire, you will not be burned,
      nor will the flames hurt you.”  

Isaiah 43:2, NCV

There is a unique immunity that is given to the simple disciple.  Believers find that suddenly they have been inoculated against a reality that others can’t understand.  Passing through the waters, we find the divine presence.  We discover it and find that it covers us.

Daniel tells us of three men dropped into a super-heated furnace. Surviving was impossible, and yet they felt no heat or flame while inside. That is a tremendous thing for believers to understand. (Daniel 3:19-27)

Having Him to cover us is a profound thing.  There are many reasons this should not be happening to us, and not given any serious thought.  And yet He appears out of nowhere and declares that we are completely immune to every attack against our desperate souls.

Jesus watches over us.  He concentrates His focus on us, and we find a strength that is almost absurd, something that doesn’t make any sense at all.  He covers us from all the ugliness that could be focused on us.  A barrier is put around us.   His care protects us and shields us from insidious attacks on our very vulnerable hearts.

Isaiah 43 declares that there is a protective grace that surrounds our soul. 

We encounter a sense that He is there and that He will not let anything happen to us.  This security is not from anything we produce, maintain or manufacture.  He brings it to us without any logical reason.  It’s called “grace” and it gives us immense protection.

This world generates a lot of ugliness.  We must enter and pass through a whole lot of difficulty and pain.  Water and fire, in abundance, are things that will happen to us.  We will deal with these things, and work our way through them.  One thing needs to be understood,   His spirit in us resists being controlled by sin.

We travel through intense times when our faith seems ludicrous when it seems weak and illogical.  But somehow we make it, and we will pass through this and other challenges.  He intervenes and brings us safety and strength.  We are indeed survivors, and we pass through all evil and darkness without being scorched or singed.

“And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.”

Philippians 1:6, NLT

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When Your Rocks Become Gems

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“For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison,”

2 Corinthians 4:17

There is an old folk tale told by the Arab people.

Weary travelers meet up with a man while on a hard journey. “Two more miles, and when you stop, fill your packs with the rocks along the road” he said. “In the morning light, you will become happy and sad at the same time.”

It was dark when they arrived. They were pretty much exhausted, and hardly took any time to think about picking up rocks. They needed food and sleep and there was a few hours to rest; who had time to ponder the odd riddle of an old man?

But there were a few that listened; several went and picked up the gravel– the stones they could find in the dark. Those who listened filled their bags– some little, others more so. The majority did nothing. Who wants to carry rocks in their packs?

The morning came too early, and soon they were back on their journey. There was little time for anything but packing up to move. For some their packs were heavier, and they stopped to inspect their load.

Suddenly, someone shouted out. “Oh my God! Check your packs!” The one who cried out held up an emerald the size of his fist. Others cried out with excitement as they discovered rubies, diamonds and jade gems.

You see, the rocks they had picked up in the dark were really jewels of staggering wealth.

Of course, it only mattered to those who had listened. What some regard as a burden becomes something of significance in the daylight. Perhaps our trials will become more than we could ever fathom. It is worth consideration.

“For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us.”

Romans 8:18

P.S. Don’t doubt in the dark what God has shown you in the light.

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You Are Simply His Servant

“Which one of you having a servant tending sheep or plowing will say to him when he comes in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? 8 Instead, will he not tell him, ‘Prepare something for me to eat, get ready, and serve me while I eat and drink; later you can eat and drink’?” 

9 “Does he thank that servant because he did what was commanded? 10 In the same way, when you have done all that you were commanded, you should say, ‘We are unworthy servants; we’ve only done our duty.’”

Luke 17:7-10

“The will of God for your life is simply that you submit yourself to Him each day and say, “Father, Your will for today is mine. Your pleasure for today is mine. Your work for today is mine. I trust You to be God. You lead me today and I will follow.”

    Kay Arthur

Really now. What little we give Jesus determines so much, since we owe him so much. The service that we can give to our Master Jesus is just a miniscule repayment for everything. Settle that now and God will use you.

Let’s think about this parable.

Question: Is the master unfair? Does he lord his authority over the servant? Is he taking advantage of him? Why is the servant so compliant? Every time I read this passage, questions like this always come up.

But even reading this, I still don’t grasp being a real servant. At least not consistently.

A couple of observations–

#1, the Holy Spirit really hasn’t taught me about being a total servant yet. Until he does, I don’t understand the deep meaning of this parable. (And it always goes deeper than I want it to.)

#2, I’m a product of my country, no such things like slaves, we’re a democracy. We have equal rights– to be a slave isn’t something I really understand. (It doesn’t really compute.)

#3, It’s purposefully constructed to create issues in my mind and heart. Something that “irritates” me–but in a good way. (Perhaps it’s the grain of sand that eventually becomes a pearl?)

And maybe all three are somewhat true. But no matter how I handle this parable, I always hit this spiritual speed bump. I really don’t grasp real servanthood. But yet, I still like this parable; I love reading it, no matter what it does to me.

We owe everything to him. Plain and simple.

I understand that I’m weak and shaky, but still, Jesus wants to be my Master. I’m his servant–at least I want to be–and He commands me to serve. Reading this parable puts this idea into a real perspective. OK, let’s now consider this verse:

“For you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

1 Corinthians 6:20, ESV

A transaction has been made for your soul. God has intervened, and he’s given you salvation. We have a life now that will give us life, eternally. Since he is our master, we can no longer direct our own lives. Like the “unworthy servant” in verse 10, we now walk forgiven and very much redeemed.

Interesting. The parable isn’t really talking to us on how to be saved, that’s given to us by faith. Rather it points out the service we give Him after our salvation. We are simply His servants now.

And we owe it all to him, He’s our Savior, and now our Master.

“The question in salvation is not whether Jesus is Lord, but whether we are submissive to His lordship.”

   John MacArthur

Love Jesus First

Art by Eugène Burnand

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The Sterile Curse of Social Isolation

“Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he breaks out against all sound judgment.”

Proverbs 18:1

Research reveals the reality of social isolation.  It seems more and more people are veering away from social contact. A Duke University study found that Americans are choosing to become more solitary than ever. Many are eschewing all relations all together.  This is a problem, socially and spiritually.

I’ve seen some of the statistics– fully 25% of people have no relationships at all, and something like 50% have no relationships outside of their spouse and children.  This disturbing trend is building momentum.  In 1985 the figure was just 15%.

I think that a lot of pressure may be coming from the internet, although Facebook and Twitter have reconfigured social connections. Longer work hours, the phone and streaming video, all contribute to the move away from human contact.

The commute time is also a factor.  For every 10 minutes stuck in traffic there is roughly a 10% drop in social relationships.  So if you have a bad commute on I-80 you are more likely not to want to have a friend over.

Hundred years ago our society was far more geared for personal contact.  People would regularly visit each other.  Neighbors knew each other.  There were parlor games and dinners.  Music recitations and skits.  Card parties. Television and radio had not yet grabbed the countries psyche.  Sociologists and anthropologists confirm that our history was deep in contact with each other.  We were not built for solitary living.

With community life disappearing people are turning to online relationships. Our churches are trying to adapt, as even Christians are not connecting like they should.  I have been out in the Alaskan bush villages, and the older generation is frustrated because the younger generation seems to be in trouble.  “They don’t pick berries, or hunt; all they do is sit in front of the TV playing Nintendo, or their laptops.”

We need fellowship with others, and God as well. There are very few solitary believers.

I guess the biggest issue of all is mental illness.  Social isolation is a direct part of depression and other disorders.  In order to get better, people must reach out and connect.  There is no substitute, no other option.

I see the shift in my own life. I am seeking to back off from being online 6-8 hours a day.  I am trying to be around flesh & blood as often as possible.  I am personally trying to consciously maximize that time.

It keeps me healthier.

To be healthier, we think its physical.  We have our gym memberships and we run on the treadmill.  That is good.  But I’m thinking we are losing out if we don’t workout socially (and spiritually) as well. Christians are  a special species; we need fellowship with others, and God as well. There are no solitary believers.

“A man who isolates himself seeks his own desire: To cut one’s self off from family, friends, and community is often to express a selfish desire. It shows an unwillingness to make the small (and sometimes large) sacrifices to get along with others.”

David Guzik, enduringword.com

“This is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another.”

1 John 3:11, NLT

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Delusions of the First Person Variety

I need to briefly share what delusions are like.  I’m going to flip the switch and flood the room with light, and watch the “critters” scuttle to find a hiding place. 
I’m doing this to help heal myself, and for you to understand this awful state of mind.
First of all, let’s define things. 

Delusion n.
A false belief held despite strong evidence against it; self-deception. Delusions are common in some forms of psychosis. 

Delusion de·lu·sion n.
A false belief strongly held in spite of invalidating evidence, especially as a symptom of mental illness.

Typically, my delusions have a common core of pride or self-centered thinking. For instance, I have experienced all of these to a degree:

  1. A woman loves me and she is secretly trying to be with me. This is very flattering and egocentric.  This  one can really mess with your thought-life. (Ego.)
  2. I’m the center of the universe, people really do not exist, except when they come into my life or influence.  [This one is a bit metaphysical.] See #7.
  3. I have special powers that ‘know” a person’s motives, plans and heart.  I am hyper-discerning.  The opposite can be true at times, where I become exposed to people, which necessitates me never leaving my room. I feel “naked” and of course, very uncomfortable.
  4. I get paranoid, thinking people are plotting with each other behind my back, working to destroy me.  Chat rooms, and Facebook are focal points for me with this one, but not always.  With this one I get really verbal, and I start zapping people.  I guess because it’s the internet I can do this with impunity.
  5. Clocks are always at the top of the hour, like- 7:00 am.  Or they are at the bottom of the hour, like 11:30 pm.  I call this “chronosynchronism.” I believe this is evidence that my life is orchestrated, purposeful, and this is evidence I am very significant.  This is my latest.  And it really isn’t super disruptive.
  6. I can read secret messages in books meant for me.  I also line up spaces in what I’m reading to form an unbroken line.  I compulsively do this.
  7. The big one is this, I am in my form of “The Truman Show”.  The universe is just a set and I am the only living thing out there.  Everything is focused on me (of course).
  8. I hear voices sometimes, but mostly a radio or sometimes the “dot-dash-dot” of a telegraph.  I think its trying to warn me in some code.  It can be persistent. And it can be disruptive. Paranoid because my giftedness is the primary reason for the NSA to control me.
  9. My wife intends to poison me.
  10. Personal hygiene issues. Afraid of being murdered in the shower creates a super-phobia. I once went 6 weeks without showering. (I made my own eyes ‘water’, lol).
I guess all of these have one thing in common. 

They are self-centered.  They are unreasonable and illogical.  They are compulsive. And yes, meds do work.  And the above list?  The delusions are only mild-to-moderate issues of delusional paranoia.  There are so many Christians and non-Christians who have worse. I once met a man who seriously believed he was Jesus. (And no, I didn’t worship him).

As a believer working out his discipleship, I’ve discovered that humility and openness is always the way of keeping one tethered to reality.  However, I have a fear that I will break loose and never come out again.  I MUST live in “brokenness”.  (So in a strange way, following Jesus Christ is easier.)

Also, I must be open to things that will invalidate my delusion.  Even if I’m 99% convinced, that 1% will cause me to consider thinking through a scenario.  Truth is your best friend when you are challenging a delusional paranoid.  But it has to be gently applied. Life doesn’t have be lived this way. Also, delusions will often ‘morph’ and change and take on modified characteristics. This seems to be part of the mental illness, but can also indicate demonic oppression (or both even).

A psychiatrist should be informed in most cases. Very often meds will be necessary to get you through this time, but not always. But sometimes.

Praying for delusional behavior

People have prayed for me, more then I have prayed for myself.  Your intercession bridges a gap over this illness.  When you pray, you power up the energy cells and get instructions.  It may mean wait, or proceed.  Every person and situation is different.

“Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty and remains far behind yours. Were it not otherwise he would never been able to find these words.”
Rainer Maria Rilke
Prayer is always the best approach.

So many delusions and so little time. They will vary from person-to-person. An active prayer may help, “Lord, may it be the real me who touches the real You.” Remember, Jesus stands at the right hand of his Father praying for you [which can’t be all bad].

 
 “Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.”

Romans 8:34

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Covered in Shame

“All day long my disgrace is before me,
    and shame has covered my face.”

Psalm 44:15

Some of us truly understand shame. It’s like we have been dipped in it, we have wallowed in it, and awful things are sticking to us. We live out our lives in disgrace and in the sense of nasty embarrassment which we can’t truly resolve. And it effects all that we do, even in those rare moments we are not aware of it.

Sometimes I wish I was teflon.

I would love to have a ‘non-stick’ heart. There is often a constant sense of being totally insufficient as a person. It seems I can develop a deep awareness of being defective and unworthy. Many of us feel this way all the time. It is painfully welded to us, and we keep trying to figure how to break that dark bond that’s on our hearts and minds.

Sometimes mental illness thrives on that blackness.

Depression feeds on that stuff, it seems to cycle through us. Our pasts become its nourishment, and at certain times it flourishes. Sometimes it explodes in our minds.

A psychiatrist once told me that 90% of resident psych patients could go home, if only they knew they were truly forgiven.

Shame is a monster that is constantly tracking us. At times we can put some distance between us. But occasionally it leaps up on our backs and drags us down. We are humiliated with our guilt. That is precisely when we should scream out for help.

There are pastors and psychiatrists, therapists and friends who are most helpful. Practicing prayer and soaking ourselves in worship can drive the monster away. And maybe meds can often provide help. All of these have helped me.

Human beings were never created to bear guilt.

But we really don’t know what to do. Shame is vigorously parasitical and consuming. If it runs amok through your life it can and will destroy you. And it’s caustic, it erodes your relationships with others. It blocks grace.

“You know my reproach, and my shame and my dishonor; my foes are all known to you.” (Psalm 69:19)

“To the Lord our God belong mercy and forgiveness, for we have rebelled against him.” (Daniel 9:9)

God has made an incredible effort to remove your guilt. Your sin, though it is crimson red in its intensity and very obvious, becomes as white as snow. Your shame and guilt can be erased.

The blood of Jesus, and the cross, can free the guilty and give us real life.

Please trust Him in this. He wants to do this for you.

“Come now, let’s settle this,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, I will make them as white as snow. Though they are red like crimson, I will make them as white as wool.”

Isaiah 1:18

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Self-Destruction

“For whoever finds me finds life
and receives favor from the Lord.
But those who miss me injure themselves.
All who hate me love death.”  

Proverbs 8:35-36

“There are seeds of self-destruction in all of us that will bear only unhappiness if allowed to grow.”  Dorothea Brande 

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“If one looks with a cold eye at the mess man has made of history, it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that he has been afflicted by some built-in mental disorder which drives him towards self-destruction.”   Arthur Koestler 

*******

 Among people with a mental illness, there is a sort of impulsivity, and in advanced cases we can see a ‘self-destructive behavior‘.  We do things, superficially we recognize and even assert that it is detrimental, but we will continue to do it regardless.  Those ‘in the know around us’ can’t believe what we are doing. It is totally irrational.

Bipolar, schizophrenia, and many other mental illnesses have impulsivity as a common aspect of their disease processes.

  • We drink,
  • do drugs,
  • do pornography, strippers
  • steal from our friends,
  • cut ourselves,
  • misuse our credit cards (and go deeply in debt)
  • get crazy at rock concerts,
  • and much more.

We are impulsive and we do things that a healthy person would never do.  We consistently choose the worst things and we can’t seem to stop ourselves.

We are the ‘wild children,’ we just seem to thrive on the edge of destruction, repeatedly.  This is in spite of the consequences.  We just don’t worry about the side-effects of our choices.  We don’t think ahead, all we think is of the moment.  We consistently choose what is really bad for us, and then throw ourselves headlong into the darkness.  The more we do these terrible things, the wilder it seems to get.

We can’t seem to stop. 

I can say this because I had a personal issue with ‘self-destruction’.  You might say I have a ‘Masters degree’ in it.  I have gotten very proficient at it, and have utilized deception to cover my tracks.  So much of my life is hidden and I seem to float my darkness out in such a way as to diffuse questions and to excuse awful nasty behavior.

Being impulsive/self-destructive is a hard life in many ways. 

We cultivate an image to others that we have really never attained.  We are very good at deception, we have discovered how to do and say what we want without others “getting in our faces.” Being impulsive, ready to step into the most pleasurable darkness, becomes something we must cover up, at all costs.

“Can a man scoop a flame into his lap
    and not have his clothes catch on fire?”

Proverbs 6:27

Am I secretly drinking, doing drugs or using sex (esp. in pornography)?  The impulses that drive us to do this stuff will become the way we experience destruction, but somehow we don’t seem to get it.  The mentally ill have a horrendous rate of alcoholism and addiction.  I’ve seen figures that put us at 80% that have significant issues.  We seem to be ‘self-medicating’ ourselves to escape, or trying to get some stability.

When we come to Jesus, we discover that He loves us completely, including our ‘hidden side’.  His love comes to us without any conditions.  We are free to do whatever we want.  However, we will find that ‘sin accepted’ is very brutal to us.  Smashing out heads against a brick wall, over and over, doesn’t make the wall any softer.  And yet we continue to do the most foolish thing we can do, and then we–  REPEAT.

There is a way out of this.  But few will really do it. 

It’s called ‘public confession.’ We get it out into the open, where the sun shines, and it will be seen exactly for what it is.  We choose not to live out our lives in secretiveness. We must learn the skills of transparency, as we lay out our evil, our deception for the church to see.

When we deceive others, we will end up deceiving ourselves.  We absolutely cannot continue a life in darkness, or in long-term sin. wPeop cover their faults and excuse themselves do not have a repeneir faults and excuse themselves do not have a repentant spirit.

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Tears Do Things

I’ve been thinking a lot about tears lately—in part because Pastor Bryan pointed out to me how many hits my post titled God Keeps Your Tears in a Bottle has had, in part because I’ve cried more than a few tears this year, and in part because I’ve been listening to Johnny Cash’s Cry, Cry, Cry in my car all week—and I thought I’d share my thoughts with you all here.

First of all, people cry for a lot of reasons.

Earlier this year my sister died of breast cancer at only 61 years old. I cried, a lot. It’s normal and even helpful to shed tears over the death of a loved one even if we know where they are going when they die, because it allows us to express the grief we feel over not having them in our lives any more here on earth.

I remember a time I had a previous boss say some very cruel things to me in front of other people. She accused me of having done things I had not based on motives I did not have. I was very angry, hurt, and frustrated. And I cried, a lot. I didn’t cry in front of her, mind you, but afterwards I did. And it was good to express that anger to others.

I’ve cried tears of loss, anger, indignation with frustration, compassion, and even of joy. I sometimes cry tears of regret when I hear a song about the sacrifice of Jesus, knowing it is my sin that made him suffer.

Just yesterday I experienced unexpected tears.

I was reciting the prayers of the people in church, which I’ve done many times. Our church has many prayer concerns for members, family, and friends with health concerns and more. Towards the end of the prayer I began to lift up prayers for a church member’s brother-in-law who is a pastor back in New York because he is faced with conducting the funerals of two teens who had been killed in an accident last week.

I recently wrote this poem.

Tears

Tears of sorrow, anger
drench my soul
course without end
eroding pain, anguish

Where once only aching
occupied my heart
now is a deep empty ravine
carved by a river of tears

Tears of forgiveness
water my soul’s riverbed
allowing flowers of love
to flourish and grow

Peace arises in my heart
held aloft by God’s promises
the fragrance of sweet alyssum
blossoms of my soul

I think the saddest tears of all, though, are the tears of major clinical depression. These tears are so sad because the one who cries them doesn’t know what purpose they serve.

I remember when I was suffering from depression sitting in a chair and just crying. When someone asked me why I was crying all I could say was, “I don’t know.” And I truly didn’t. The tears didn’t wash away pain; they only seemed to make it all the worse.

In the midst of such tears, there is One who knows their purpose.

Romans 8:26 says: “In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” Through prayer God can sometimes lead us to an understanding of the purpose of the tears of depression, and ultimately to healing.

That makes your tears a good thing.

“Tears are often the telescope by which men see far into heaven.“

Henry Ward Beecher

Check out Linda’s site.

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To Be, Rather Than Seem to Be

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“When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves.”

Genesis 3:6-7

The broken believer survives because he or she is constantly having to move toward “authenticity.” There exists a credibility and a realness about them. You’ll suddenly realize that you’re talking with someone who is real. They’ve stepped out of the wreckage and have survived their personal catastrophes. This doesn’t come easy.

It is a rarity and a gift.

On the other hand, we see those wrapped up in so much self-imposed deception that can’t admit anything is wrong. Like the problem drinker who denies he has a problem, we can’t handle the reality and drink to alter it. The addicted are compelled to live a delusion of their own choices, and soon discover they are hopelessly trapped. And so we hide under our favorite bush.

(Euphoria was my favorite.)

“When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

Genesis 3:8

There is a Latin phrase, esse quam videri; to be rather than seem to be.” We would rather be “seeming to be” than actually just “be.” The sons of Adam and the daughters of Eve are still using “fig leaves.” We don’t want to deal with the truth about ourselves and face the sin of our lives. But it seems to be more than that.

The struggler and the broken believer may try to conceal themselves.

They may hold up an image that deflects the curious onlooker from seeing the real them. We won’t deal with the truth, and we choose to hide ourselves. We want to be seen as “together” even if we are not. It is all about looking good. This is pretense and sham. We dodge and deflect.

“And this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, and people loved the darkness rather than the light because their works were evil.”

John 3:19

 This was Jesus’ indictment of the human heart. I wish it was otherwise.

Each day I must put to death my old self. Take my meds, and ask the Lord for strength to stay real. No more pretense, and no more projecting a false self to others (and myself.) I choose reality over fantasy.

The Holy Spirit is eagerly waiting to fill me. In this I discover I can live well with the strength and joy He gives me.

“The God who can change a sinner into a Christian by giving him His life can equally transform the fleshly Christian into a spiritual one by giving him His life more abundantly.”

—Watchman Nee

Lord Jesus, may it be that the real me meets the real You. Keep me real and authentic. Amen.

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The Awful Weariness of It All

“Now hear my prayer;
    listen to my cry.
For my life is full of troubles,
    and death draws near.
I am as good as dead,
    like a strong man with no strength left.”

Psalm 88:2-4

Not really ‘positive’ is it? Life can be monotonous and difficult, especially for those dealing with significant mental and physical challenges. It’s relentless, a constant struggle.

We experience depression, confusion, paranoia, and frustration that come and go pretty much at will. Sometimes it feels like these feelings have become an integral part of us, and it almost seems these awful things have settled in for good.

There can be a terrible hopelessness in living like this.

An ugly realization that there is no hope for today, and that tomorrow will not be any different. Some consider ending it all–rather than continue without hope. It is a terrible way to live, and hopelessness isn’t something people can handle well.

Contained in the scriptures are many stories and parables about wedding feasts and the king’s banquets.  On one occasion, somebody ‘finagles’ his way into the party. It seems ok at first but suddenly it all goes south for him and he is strongly confronted. 

He simply did not belong there.

The bouncers bind his hands and feet, carry him out.  He is thrown out into the “outer darkness.”  What prompted this was his attire, it was all wrong.  He simply wasn’t dressed for the wedding.

“But when the king came in to meet the guests, he noticed a man who wasn’t wearing the proper clothes for a wedding.  ‘Friend,’ he asked, ‘how is it that you are here without wedding clothes?’ But the man had no reply. Then the king said to his aides, ‘Bind his hands and feet and throw him into the outer darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.’

Matthew 22:11-14

Many have given in to their despair, they now reside in “the outer darkness.”  They are no longer dressed for the banquet. They’ve stripped themselves of their wedding garments. How tragic. They have given up and tried to walk away.

I’ll be the first to admit that mental illness and discipleship don’t always blend well together. 

But the Father understands and increases his deposit of grace to make up for this deficiency. He doesn’t treat his beloved sons equally. Extra grace is given to the chronically ill. God’s grace comes to the hurting. And it truly meets the struggler who needs an extra portion to survive.

You must wear His kindness and grace. It’s now time. The Wedding starts soon.

God has created us for a wedding feast for believers. And it is with confidence that we look forward to this feast, for in Christ we will not be found naked but clothed in the white garments of His righteousness.  He takes our dirty and muddy clothes and exchanges them for his own beautiful white ones. 

We wear his “clothes,” and oh my what a wonder we are!

“I will greatly rejoice in the Lord;
    my soul shall exult in my God,
for he has clothed me with the garments of salvation;
    he has covered me with the robe of righteousness,”

Isaiah 61:10, NLT

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Catching Hearts Like Fish

Jesus called out to them, “Come, follow me, and I will show you how to fish for people!” 

–Matthew 4:19

The invitation to these fishermen was a ‘call’ to Himself. 

This is critical for us to note.  Jesus is not directing them to a broad set of religious ethics.  He is calling them to follow Him.  He is the exclusive Savior of everyone who needs a Savior.  We follow a man, not an idea.

There is also the intertwining of two distinct issues: That of evangelism, and that of discipleship.  The church for centuries has split these two, allowing them to be seen separately, and it hasn’t been healthy. These two distinct callings are to be welded together as one.

Typically we are focused on one or the other.

People will gravitate to their own gifting or temperament. But there is a potent strength when discipleship is paired with evangelism. We need disciples who can evangelize; and evangelists who are also disciples.

Jesus seeks people who will connect with Him.  He was looking through the throngs of those on the lake shore.  He probably watched several people before making His decision to extend His call.  He needs followers, like a steam engine needs coal.  I’m sure there was other possibilities.  What a joy though, to be asked to follow Him, by Him!  How empty life would be to decline on His offer and go back to the fishing nets.  I guess you can know too much, and it “ruins” you forever.

There is a sense of the comedic here in His call.  Jesus is suggesting that He will be teaching these veteran fisherman how to fish.  It’s apparent that these wizened men of the sea, had been fishing since they were mere boys.  Jesus essentially orders that Peter and Andrew stop what they were doing and follow, now.  Jesus would teach them “human fishing”– catching men!

By following, their old way would be forfeited. 

They could not do both, (but they did try and once even followed Peter back to the old life).  But a separation happens as hearts and minds become set apart on the invitation, and then jump out of the boat on to the beach.

Jesus would teach these men.  They would learn the most critical and vital truths ever communicated on this planet.  Their classroom would follow them, and their instructor was eminently qualified and supremely gifted.  These new followers will ‘rock’ their world.  They would truly become, ‘Fishers of Men’.

“The greatest form of praise is the sound of consecrated feet seeking out the lost and helpless.”

Billy Graham

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Understanding Schizophrenia

Symptoms

By Mayo Clinic staff,

There are several types of schizophrenia, so signs and symptoms vary. In general, schizophrenia symptoms include:

  • Beliefs not based on reality (delusions), such as the belief that there’s a conspiracy against you
  • Seeing or hearing things that don’t exist (hallucinations), especially voices
  • Incoherent speech
  • Neglect of personal hygiene
  • Lack of emotions
  • Emotions inappropriate to the situation
  • Angry outbursts
  • Catatonic behavior
  • A persistent feeling of being watched
  • Trouble functioning at school and work
  • Social isolation
  • Clumsy, uncoordinated movements
Schizophrenia ranges from mild to severe.

Some people may be able to function well in daily life, while others need specialized, intensive care. In some cases, schizophrenia symptoms seem to appear suddenly. Other times, schizophrenia symptoms seem to develop gradually over months, and they may not be noticeable at first.

Over time, it becomes difficult to function in daily life. You may not be able to go to work or school. You may have troubled relationships, partly because of difficulty reading social cues or others’ emotions. You may lose interest in activities you once enjoyed. You may be distressed or agitated or fall into a trance-like state, becoming unresponsive to others.

In addition to the general schizophrenia symptoms, symptoms are often categorized in three ways to help with diagnosis and treatment:

Negative signs and symptoms
Negative signs and symptoms represent a loss or decrease in emotions or behavioral abilities. They may include:

  • Loss of interest in everyday activities
  • Appearing to lack emotion
  • Reduced ability to plan or carry out activities
  • Neglecting hygiene
  • Social withdrawal
  • Loss of motivation

Positive signs and symptoms
Positive signs and symptoms are unusual thoughts and perceptions that often involve a loss of contact with reality. These symptoms may come and go. They may include:

  • Hallucinations, or sensing things that aren’t real. In schizophrenia, hearing voices is a common hallucination. These voices may seem to give you instructions on how to act, and they sometimes may include harming others.
  • Delusions, or beliefs that have no basis in reality. For example, you may believe that the television is directing your behavior or that outside forces are controlling your thoughts.
  • Thought disorders, or difficulty speaking and organizing thoughts, such as stopping in midsentence or jumbling together meaningless words, sometimes known as “word salad.”
  • Movement disorders, such as repeating movements, clumsiness or involuntary movements.

Cognitive signs and symptoms
Cognitive symptoms involve problems with memory and attention. These symptoms may be the most disabling in schizophrenia because they interfere with the ability to perform routine daily tasks. They include:

  • Problems making sense of information
  • Difficulty paying attention
  • Memory problems
When to see a doctor:\ People with schizophrenia often lack awareness that their difficulties stem from a mental illness that requires medical attention. So it often falls to family or friends to get them help.
Suicidal thoughts and behavior

Suicidal thoughts and behavior are common among people with schizophrenia. If you have a loved one who is in danger of committing suicide or has made a suicide attempt, make sure someone stays with that person. Call 911 or your local emergency number immediately. Or, if you think you can do so safely, take the person to the nearest hospital emergency room.

For more info, Mayo Clinic has much more on its website: http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/schizophrenia/DS00196/DSECTION=symptoms

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Clearing Your Head

“Endurance is not just the ability to bear a hard thing, but to turn it into glory.”

     Philip Yancey

There are going to be times when things become exceptionally clear to you.  

Every so often, we have moments that awaken our senses and make us see things clearly. It’s like a splash of cold water on our sleepy faces. It shakes us up and helps us understand our feelings, thoughts, and connections with others.

To the mentally ill, our arrival at this place brings a glimmer of hope. With clarity, we can distinguish between reality and illusion. The power of change lies in this discernment, a remarkable work of the Holy Spirit. We learn that self-transformation is out of our reach, only the Spirit possesses this ability.

The Bible and its promises are completely saturated with His power. 

There is a certain hope and security that comes from His restoration of our mixed-up lives. His work is quite exceptional, for He is an Artisan. However,  we will never be happy or at peace if we refuse.  And if we decide poorly we will get stuck inside a deep loneliness, and failure– the realization of being cast aside.

It’s scary, but so much is based on what we decide in these chosen times. Choose wisely.

Depression and darkness may affect us, but there is no better refuge to find than God. Even though we may feel discouraged, we can still choose to protect ourselves. If we don’t choose the right path, we will struggle in our own mistakes and faults.

Trust me, I understand how miserable that can be.

We dare not let the darkness we face confuse us. 

In every fiber of our being, we must resolutely stand against such a dire fate. We must not, under any circumstances, allow the tendrils of darkness to once again ensnare us. In the very core of our essence, we are guided and redeemed by the profound sacrifice of the Lord Jesus.

Picture it, if you will: like a lost soul traversing a treacherous minefield under the cloak of night. Nothing should hold more significance to us than shielding ourselves from this ominous threat. Let us rise together, united in our relentless pursuit of light and liberation.

It advances on us and so many can’t resist its strength.  But being mentally ill is not something that someone can just decide on, it is real and carries a poison that few can resist.  Any odd romanticism of “being a tragically wounded poet” is so foolish, and dangerous.

But the truth is, we have Someone who has decided to be our Savior and He speaks to heaven about us.

He will speak on our behalf.  He alone can escort us through this terrible darkness.  Without His voice, we can’t defend ourselves, and we will just deceive ourselves. We are desperately sick, and He is the only cure.

If you are presently struggling, I would tell you that you have a home.  It is a place of acceptance and assurance.  The cost of depression and delusion can’t even come close to matching even the simplicity and basic place of just being a “minor” disciple of Jesus Christ.

But no matter what has happened, He has been pursuing you, in a deep hope you will respond to Him.  

I exhort you to embrace this love and trust Him, even when it gets very hard.  But no matter what happens, don’t ever give up.

 

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The Lost Ones

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“Light shines in the darkness for the godly.
    They are generous, compassionate, and righteous.”

Psalm 112:4, NLT

The glory of Jesus lies in this: in weakness, vulnerability, and apparent failure. He has called forth disciples to come after Him, willing and able to carry the cross and relive His passion with compassion.

They are marginal people, not part of the scene, irrelevant to the “action.” In their ministry or quiet presence they do not need to win or compete. They may even look like losers, even if its just to themselves.

The world ignores them. But they are building “the Kingdom of God” on earth by reaching out in vulnerability and weakness to share the suffering of their brothers. They work by love rather than continue in sin.

“Where the compassionate One is, there will His servants be.”

 

Manning-devo-coverBrennan Manning, “Reflections for Ragamuffins.”

From an entry dated June 27th.  “A Stranger to Self Hatred,” by Brennan Manning.

Copyright @ 1982 by Brennan Manning, reprinted by permission of Dimension Books, Inc.

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A Profound Discipleship

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Today, through the marvel of modern medicine, we can do heart bypasses, heart transplants and install artificial hearts.

But no one can make an unclean heart clean once it becomes dirty. We cannot fix it to live in eternity with a infinitely holy God. It’s through the process of biblical discipleship that you and I are being prepared for living with Him.

Discipleship is the methodology (?!) God has ordained for us to change our hearts. But because discipleship is so challenging and so demanding, we’re tempted to avoid the Gospel’s call. Sometimes it seems like there are many, many believers and just a few disciples.

Nothing but discipleship is an acceptable response to His sacrifice on the cross for me.

Let’s consider the terms and conditions of being his disciple. Please think these through, perhaps they will help, and perhaps you already understand them. They’re somewhat basic:

1) A true disciple will love Jesus Christ above all.

34-37 “Don’t think I’ve come to make life cozy. I’ve come to cut—make a sharp knife-cut between son and father, daughter and mother, bride and mother-in-law—cut through these cozy domestic arrangements and free you for God. Well-meaning family members can be your worst enemies. If you prefer father or mother over me, you don’t deserve me. If you prefer son or daughter over me, you don’t deserve me.”

Matthew 10:34-37, Message

“It never cost a disciple anything to follow Jesus; to talk about cost when you are in love with Him is an insult.”

–Oswald Chambers

2) A true disciple must deny himself.

 “Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.”

Matthew 16:24

3) A true disciple, intentionally and deliberately, embraces the cross.

“And whoever does not take his cross and follow me is not worthy of me.”

Matthew 10:38

“The cross of discipleship is that I daily and hourly delight to tell my human nature that I an not my own; I no longer claim right to myself.”

–Oswald Chambers

4) A true disciple is close to Jesus and follows Him.

 “If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.”

John 12:26

5) A true disciple will love other disciples.

“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.”

1 John 4:7

It is incredible to see the fervor with which the people of that religion help each other in their wants, They spare nothing. Their first legislator [Jesus] has put it in their hearts that they are brethren.”

–Lucian, Greek writer (120-200 A.D.)

6) A true disciple abides (continues) in the teaching of the Lord.

“So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples.”

John 8:31 (John 15:8-9)

7) A true disciple lives to follow the words and teaching of the Lord Jesus.

“Jesus said to him, “’No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for the kingdom of God.’”

Luke 9:62

A simple word about joy. The Holy Spirit turns all the hard things of discipleship into sweetness. Perhaps the difficult part is found in the first few minutes of the decision to follow in a specific matter. But the peaceful presence soon follows and your life will be flooded with light. There is incredible joy in this life of discipleship.

A word about obedience. The Holy Spirit rushes in to touch the weakest act of obedience. He understands our feeble and cowardly hearts and promises to help us to obey Him.

A word about becoming unique. The disciple is a rarity among the world (and even the Church). Following Him in your walk may set you apart as odd and peculiar. If you will follow it will mean you will die to what people think. You should love them anyway. You may be persecuted and spoken evil of. Forgive them, they won’t understand.

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The Glory of Gripping Things

Acts 17:33 Artwork | Bible Art

I never had an opportunity to attend a seminary, and only have a three year diploma from a Bible Institute. But I’ve had to rely on the Holy Spirit in ways that a seminary trained pastor will never really understand. I’ve come to see the wisdom in the way God has led me.

“It is the glory of God to conceal things, but the glory of kings is to search things out.”

Proverbs 25:2

Concealing things and searching for things are contrasting actions. God hides things purposefully–they are sort of like a spiritual version of “Where’s Waldo.” Certain things are hidden, but always in plain sight.

Searching for things should definitely be our own response. The word used in Hebrew means to investigate, but with a planned purpose. It’s more than curiosity, rather it’s a passionate curiosity. And the Holy Spirit is always pleased with that.

In the New Testament book of Acts (17:11) we can see this attitude of the Bereans. They were the only ones in Scripture to be called “noble minded” for their serious study and thought. When they heard Paul’s teaching they sat down, opened their Bibles and began to investigate for themselves.

But it will always take humility. Always.

Intellect is important but it’s not enough. The list seen below is something to work through, and the issue is one that has been a challenge for me through 40+ years of following Jesus.

Here’s a study that I’m confident will bless you.

Justification & Sanctification– Gripping the Two
  •  Justification is free (John 4:1)
  • Sanctification is costly (Lk. 14:25-33)
  • Justification is instantaneous (Jn. 3:8)
  • Sanctification is a lifelong process (Jn. 8:31)
  • Justification is by faith (Eph. 2:8)
  • Sanctification is by faithfulness (1 Cor. 4:2)
  • Justification is not of works (Eph. 2:9)
  • Sanctification is of works (Eph. 2:10)
  • Justification involves Christ’s love for me (Jn. 3:16)
  • Sanctification involves my love for Christ (1 Jn. 4:19)
  • Justification concerns Christ’s righteousness (2 Cor. 5:21)
  • Sanctification concerns my righteousness (Lk. 14:25-33)
  • Justification involves my position in Christ (Col. 2:11-14)
  • Sanctification involves my practice (Col. 3:1-11)
  • Justification considers what God has done (1 Cor. 15:3-4)
  • Sanctification considers what I am doing (Lk. 14:25-33)
  • Justification is God’s commitment to me (1 Jn. 5:9-13)
  • Sanctification is my commitment to God (Jn. 14:15)
  • Justification requires obedience to one command: to believe the Gospel (Ac. 6:7)
  • Sanctification requires obedience to all of Christ’s commands (Matt. 28:19-20)
  • Justification focuses on the cross which Jesus took up once and for all (1 Cor. 1:18)
  • Sanctification focuses on the cross which I am to take up daily (Lk. 9:53)
  • Justification is finished at the moment of faith (Jn. 5:24)
  • Sanctification is not finished until I go to be with the Lord (1 Cor. 9:24-27)

Discerning between the two should only be a blessing. In some sense working through the differences between justification and sanctification should energize you, and bring truth to your walk. Now you might disagree, but let it be after you’ve worked through this list.

“I have more understanding than all my teachers, for your testimonies are my meditation.”

Psalm 119:99

The author of the above ‘list’ is unknown. May they be blessed by this if they should read this post.
 
 
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Learning “Persecution Love”

Learning how to forgive

Once I was punched in the face while preaching. At the time I was an evangelist with SOS Ministries in 1987. I was leading a group to Haight/Ashbury St. in San Francisco. I remember it was really busy, and it was a good team, and they were excited to take their church to the streets.

Haight/Ashbury was the place the “summer of love” kicked off, it peaked in 1968. It has a certain sense of notoriety, and even in 1983 it still had a dubious reputation as a center of the counter-culture. “A cult a day is born in San Francisco,” a pastor friend once shared with me.

Normally the neighborhood where I took a team would direct me on how to preach. Tonight I focused on God’s love for sinful people.

That message seemed appropriate for this place, especially on this street. God loves these people very much.

A young man came forward. He told me that he was a backslidden Christian, and his father was an Assembly of God pastor. He had run away from home. Suddenly he began to weep. The entire team seemed to lean forward and I know they were praying earnestly for him. It seemed to me that he was teetering on the brink.

His punch however came unexpectedly.

His fist hit me square in the nose. My eyes began to water. Oddly enough he took a step back and began to really cry out. My team wasn’t quite sure how to respond, but I hoped they prayed even harder. I sort of gasped and tried to shake it off. Someone must have called the police.

The Holy Spirit was very much present, both convicting and comforting each of us.

One or two minutes went by and suddenly he stopped sobbing and he became really angry. He took a step and then tried to kick me in the stomach, but I dropped the mic and caught his foot. I was ready for him this time.

About 20 minutes went by before SFPD showed up and asked if I wanted to press charges. I thought for a bit, but deep down I knew that wasn’t the will of my Father. Maybe I should of, I don’t know. But I thought about my own sin and couldn’t judge no one.

The Father was reaching him while teaching me!

God loves His prodigal children very much, He understands the guilt and shame (and frustration) they feel. The Father however is always watching and waiting. He works through life’s circumstances to lead them home. Each belongs to Him. He continues far past what we think is possible. He will never give up.

“We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

1 John 3:16

I suddenly saw a “wounded” brother, very confused and quite angry. Not with me, the team, or the music–but with God who created him, and died for him.

At that moment I just happened to be God’s love for this prodigal.

“How did Jesus expect His disciples to react under persecution? (In Matthew 5:12 He said), “Rejoice and be glad!” We are not to retaliate like an unbeliever, nor sulk like a child, nor lick our wound in self-pity like a dog, nor just grin a bear it like a Stoic, still less pretend we enjoy it like a masochist. What then? We are to rejoice as a Christian should and even “leap for joy” (Lk. 6:23).”

     John Stott

Learn more about SOS Ministries, San Francisco and Berkeley, California.

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The Person and Ministry of Jesus

 “When the Sabbath came, he began to teach in the synagogue, and many who heard him were amazed.”

“Where did this man get these things?” they asked. “What’s this wisdom that has been given him? What are these remarkable miracles he is performing?”

Mark 6:2-3, NIV

 Jesus simply amazed people. 

We read that when He is brought to the front of the synagogue, He begins to speak.  His listeners are driven to silence and an awareness of something else.  They attempt to try to decipher these things.  It seems they cannot make the connection between the Holy Spirit and their traditions.  But as they closely listened their hair must have stood up.  What is going on? Something isn’t quite right. Too many things are being threatened. Some doubted Him.

But they remain astonished and attracted. But those eyes are on us.

And yet the situation is getting out of control.  This young man is one of their own.  They don’t expect this type of intensity from Him.  He says things that very closely approaches a definition of blasphemy.  Who is this man, and why is He speaking to us in such a manner or attitude?

And on top of all these pronouncements, He begins to perform miracles! 

He does what no one can do, or has done before.  And He does it so easy– no theatrics or gyrations.  There is no effort, no work and no sweat.  Those who observe Him, are brought into even more astonishment.  Jesus is doing things that are unreasonable, and amazing.  I can just imagine their thinking.  Who is this guy speaking to and why was He invited in the first place?  Has He been brought here to mock and shame us?

And then there are those pesky miracles. Our tendency is to see miracles as some rare and fantastic interventions in our lives, outrageous, but when in fact they’re better understood as revelations of the nature of a Covenant keeping God. They are just second nature to Jesus.

Jesus simply reveals the heart of the Father toward us.

He is the son of God. And at this particular junction, no one can compare.  As He stands behind that pulpit, He reveals an incredible intimacy with the Holy Spirit. It’s then Jesus speaks God’s words to us.

“Jesus is God spelling Himself out in language that men can understand.”

 S.D. Gordon

Jesus clearly stands as the ultimate deliverer of the human race.  We will find no hope by looking somewhere else.  He has established Himself as the only way to the Father.  His eyes are on our hearts, and He sees us so clearly.  We may twist, and we may squirm, but I understand.

But Jesus declares that He is the only way to be saved from our sin.

“Jesus Christ is to me the outstanding personality of all time, all history, both as Son of God and as Son of Man. Everything he ever said or did has value for us today and that is something you can say of no other man, dead or alive. There is no easy middle ground to stroll upon.”

“You either accept Jesus or reject him.”

Sholem Asch

 

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Is Jesus Enough?

Is Jesus enough? This is a penetrating question which begs for a response.    The world would dismiss this as religious fervor run amok. But the whole Bible still asks this vital question. Jesus desires us to have Him as our first love.

Is heaven enough?   Sometimes I don’t think about eternity for months at a time.  Older saints remind me that they are getting prepared.  A strong belief in heaven should uproot “besetting sins.”  Heaven is my ultimate destination. This world isn’t worth my soul.

Will I be willing to forego the things of this world now?  It seems I live for this present moment with no urge to “store up riches in heaven.” There isn’t room for my things in God’s kingdom. You ‘ll never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul trailer. (At least I haven’t.)

These three questions may seem harsh and fanatical, but they are questions that beg a response. Positively put they are as follows:

  1. Jesus deserves my love and the totality of my being.
  2. Heaven and all its glory awaits me (and my family and friends).
  3. I want to renounce the things of this world and replace them with the things of the next.

Perhaps these are the starting point. Maybe they are kind of necessary for today’s discipleship.  I simply submit them for your consideration.  I certainly share this out of love for you to think about.

“The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen.”

2 Timothy 4:18

“My home is in Heaven. I’m just traveling through this world.”

    –Billy Graham

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Handling a Diagnosis of Tardive Dyskinesia

Tardive Dyskinesia (TD) is a condition of involuntary, repetitive movements of the jaw, tongue or other body movements. It frequently is a side effect of the long-term use of antipsychotic drugs used to treat schizophrenia or bipolar disorder. It is almost always permanent. I’ve been told Vitamin E might help a bit.  Benzodiazepines have also been used with mixed results on a short-term basis.

Some examples of these types of involuntary movements include:

  • Grimacing
  • Tongue movements
  • Lip smacking
  • Lip puckering
  • Pursing of the lips
  • Excessive eye blinking

(Wikipedia)

I recently was diagnosed as having TD after the use of Zyprexa. My version is my lower jaw moves from side-to-side, unless I concentrate on not doing it. I quickly revert to this involuntary movement when I’m not aware of it. I recently saw a video of myself (with my family) and sure enough there I was, doing the ‘jaw thing.’ It was very obvious. It was also very embarrassing. (I have the ‘lithium jitters’— where my hands always shake, but TD is different.)

There are a couple of things I might mention:
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1) I’ve discovered that there is a real social isolation with this TD stuff. To be doing this in public is “not acceptable.” I have had people come up to me wanting to know what’s my problem. Since I can’t control the movement I just say, “It’s my meds— they affect me this way.” In a way it’s like wearing a neon sign saying, “I’m a fruit cake.” Having a mental illness is stigma enough, but the TD just puts a new edge on it.

2) As a natural introvert the isolation has only deepened. (I avoid crowds and most social engagements.) I guess if the truth be told, I’m uncomfortable when others look at me strangely or whisper to each other. My standard ‘paranoia level’ has taken a new twist. I feel I’m compelled to explain. I guess I’m embarrassed when others are embarrassed.

3) I settle myself down in my faith to cope. I know I’m not alone in this– the Lord Jesus is always with me. He holds me tight through all these twists and turns. Since I isolate myself so much, I savor the connection I have with a few friends who have become inured to my condition. Social media helps out— Facebook is a big help, as well as my two blogs.

4) One of the things I try to remember are the issues of selfishness and pride. I keep reminding myself it’s not about me all the time. One of the significant areas mentally ill people deal with is self-absorbed thinking. It seems it comes with the illness.

5) I try to keep a sense of humor everyday. It breaks down the mental pain to tolerable levels. We can take ourselves too seriously sometimes. Be more patient with yourself. I know I have to.

I ask that you remember me in prayer from time-to-time. I’m in ‘uncharted waters’ (it seems) and I sometimes feel all alone with my mental illness and all its tangents. I want good to come out of this. (An instantaneous healing would be o.k. But, I’m not too finicky.) Sorry for so much.

If you can’t pray, don’t feel at all impinged upon.

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I’m Deeply Loved, [and Forgiven]

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“My deepest awareness of myself is that I am deeply loved by Jesus Christ and I have done nothing to earn it or deserve it.”

― Brennan Manning, The Ragamuffin Gospel

This quote rings deep within this heart of mine. It echoes and sings with a confidence that is not logical or reasonable by any stretch of the imagination. But I’m learning that I need to consciously aware of his solid and steadfast love that he has for me. I sometimes forget, and when I finally remember I shake my head, and look around in kind of a stunned silence.

He loves me!

But I’m not the only one who is deeply loved. There are millions of others who are walking in this outrageous love. None are worthy; all have sinned. Those who are following are those who have renounced their feeble efforts at self-righteousness. It simply doesn’t work. (But sometimes it takes a while to work this out.)

I ask myself, “What if I got what I deserve?”

And when I follow this ‘line-of-thought’ I get a gnawing sense of doom– sort of a panicky fear. To get what I really deserve would be the most terrible thing I could ever know. For “I am the chief of sinners.” I believe my past sin would destroy most people.

“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”

Romans 5:8

My mental health can be fairly disruptive to my spiritual health. My depression poisons everything. I suppose that at times I can be quite ‘trying’ to those closest to me. It can be frustrating but I have discovered that His grace is more than enough to hold me tight, and protect others as well.

And Jesus accepts me, receives me, loves me even if others can’t or won’t. I may be ‘defective’ to some, outcast by others, but I am never, ever alone. Jesus loves me– not for what I can do or how I function. He loves me unconditionally.

“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him”

1 John 3:1

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A Friend of Sinners and the Ungodly

Anthony van Dyck – Christ Healing the Paralytic, 1619

“No matter how low down you are; no matter what your disposition has been; you may be low in your thoughts, words, and actions; you may be selfish; your heart may be overflowing with corruption and wickedness; yet Jesus will have compassion upon you. He will speak comforting words to you; not treat you coldly or spurn you, as perhaps those of earth would, but will speak tender words, and words of love and affection and kindness. Just come at once. He is a faithful friend – a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

–D.L. Moody

“The Son of Man has come eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Look at him! A glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners!’”

Luke 7:34

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The Caged Bird is Now Free

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“Whoever dwells in the shelter of the Most High
    will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.
2 I will say of the Lord, “He is my refuge and my fortress,
    my God, in whom I trust.” 

Psalm 91:1-2, NIV

Psalm 91 focuses on being intimate with our heavenly Father.

Throughout the entire chapter we see personal pronouns used. In contrast to other psalms that are directed to the nation, this one is written to an individual. This personal focus makes this a favorite psalm for many.

Shelter and shadow, refuge and trusting.

These four are the opening ‘word pictures,’ and they are used with wisdom and an alert discernment. The psalmist writes what he knows, and it is apparent that he understand the needs of the human spirit, and our need for protection.

Each of these four words creates a common link between believers. Each of us need a working understanding of all four protections.

These four are necessary elements for Psalm 91 to really work. I should ‘dwell’ in God’s sheltered care. All too often, I wander out past the security of the Lord (or maybe I’m lured out?) But there is safety in having God so close to us.

His proximity is for my protection.
“Surely he will save you
    from the fowler’s snare
    and from the deadly pestilence.
4 He will cover you with his feathers,
    and under his wings you will find refuge;
    his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.”

Psalm 91:3-4

silhouette-bird-on-branch-grangerV.v. 3-4, maintains its personal or familiar tone. ‘Save you’ (salvation) is far more that a theological term.  For the psalmist however, it’s not about ‘doctrine’; rather the psalm is an embrace. He is rescued from the trap, and the sickness that seems so contagious never touches him. Moving from metaphor to metaphor, he engages our imaginations to ‘see’ God’s salvation. The writer knows his stuff.

The Lord is pictured as a protective bird that covers his chicks with His wings.

We have a sure confidence as we gather together in that warm and safe spot under His wing. Whatever is after us has to go through God first. His presence is formidable. In His company is found true safety.

“What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.”

Romans 8:31, 33

All of heaven is rallying for your well-being. You are sure of this based on your faith in God’s own word. He has ‘busted us’ out of a dark cage, and now defends you against all your enemies. And that is a very good thing.

 

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Bethesda, 31 A.D.

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“Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. 2 Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. 3 Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches.5 One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him,“Would you like to get well?”

7 “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”

8 Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”

9 Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! But this miracle happened on the Sabbath,

John 5:1-9, NLT

We were following Jesus and He led us to the pool of Bethesda. A crowd gathered quickly, but I jostled myself right up front. We stood waiting, we pretty much knew something big was going to happen. And it did. I can never be the same, after what I saw. This is my simple story.

So much was happening, and as I watched I realized that so much escapes me. I can’t take it all in. But when I decide to watch Jesus, I quickly become aware of what is important, what is real. It starts to make sense. The chaos of the moment becomes calm. At least it does when He takes charge.

There were hundreds of sick people camped out. They are laying under the roofs, with their thin mats. The smell alone was really bad, all were unwashed and some with putrid and festering sores. Dirty bandages are used over and over, and shared with all.

Finally, all are watching Jesus, they become quiet wondering what He will say. We’re all pretty curious. We see Jesus as He walks directly into this ugly field of suffering people. He doesn’t hesitate or flinch.

It is almost like He is at home in this dreadful place.

Just to have a religious teacher visit Bethesda is rare. They never come. And today is the Sabbath (and a special feast day at that) and that alone makes it impossible. And yet Jesus is here, and that somehow is wonderful.

Jesus stops to talk with a man who is an ‘old-timer’ here in this horrible place of pain. This man had been sitting here for almost 40 years, and that is a long, long time. Jesus speaks. “Do you want to get well?” Jesus waits quietly.

“Sir, when the water is stirred, I don’t have anybody to put me in the pool. By the time I get there, somebody else is already in.” The man explains. He has an excuse that seems like a reason. Nothing has ever gone right– ‘I always miss out, and I can’t find anyone to help me.’ And I suppose that this is the world of the blind, the crippled, the paralyzed in Israel. They are confined to Bethesda, with the weak hope of finally being healed. I don’t think that this is how it was meant to work.

This man was horribly discouraged.  It was then Jesus said, “Get up, take your bedroll, start walking.” And this very crippled man was healed on the spot. No ‘hocus-pocus’, no incantations, no magic dust or rubbing of sacred bones. Nothing.

He was healed by a few spoken words.

I cannot emphasize my own astonishment enough. It shook all of us to the core. We were all stunned, and undone. The crowds, and all the sick and the paralyzed just stopped and stared. There are so few moments in life, just like this. We just looked at each other sort of stunned.

The ramifications of what we all had witnessed were staggering. Shocked, we turned to each other, and a great fear fell on us like a heavy blanket. The crowd did not disperse, we were completely shocked, and pretty much speechless.

For years that sense of awe has never left me.

I don’t really listen to the scorners anymore– they simply have no idea. It completely changed my life. I was never the same after that.

“For the Son of Man came to seek and save those who are lost.”

Luke 19:10

Kyrie elesion,  (Lord, have mercy on us.)

Bryan
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The Church Collects Sinners

The following excerpt is from the devotional book, “Living the Message,” by Eugene H. Peterson.  This pastor-professor is probably the person I want to grow up to be like; he has a gentleness and eloquence that is seldom seen–and highly respected.
Dr. Peterson died in 2018.
The author of many books, and his translation of the Bible, titled “The Message” is regarded by many as a masterpiece of the English language. 
Additionally, he has recently focused on the pastor, and on the many issues, a pastor might face.  He understands being a servant of the Gospel and the Church. 
I encourage you to read his stuff.  

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“When Christian believers gather in churches, everything that can go wrong sooner or later does.  Outsiders, on observing this, conclude there is nothing to this religious business, except perhaps, business…and a distant one at that.  Insiders see it much differently.”
“Just as a hospital gathers the sick under one roof and labels them as such, the Church collects sinners.” 
“Many people outside are just as sick as the ones inside, but their illnesses are either undiagnosed or disguised.  It is similar with sinners outside the church.”

********

 Some other quotes by Eugene Peterson:

  • “All the persons of faith I know are sinners, doubters, uneven performers. We are secure not because we are sure of ourselves but because we trust that God is sure of us.”
  • “When we submit our lives to what we read in scripture, we find that we are not being led to see God in our stories but our stories in God’s. God is the larger context and plot in which our stories find themselves. “
  • “When we sin and mess up our lives, we find that God doesn’t go off and leave us- he enters into our trouble and saves us.”
  • “American religion is conspicuous for its messianically pretentious energy, its embarrassingly banal prose, and its impatiently hustling ambition.”
More Eugene Peterson Quotes…
 
 
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The Torment of Depression

Depression runs rampant through our society. It seems like it’s the “common cold” of mental illness.

Depression is often a progressive and debilitating disorder.

It is like having a ‘bruised brain’ that refuses to heal. There is an substantial list of psychological disorders. Technically depression is a mood disorder that has a series of symptoms. These symptoms are the evidence that something is definitely wrong.

Depressed mood (such as feelings of sadness or emptiness).

Reduced interest in activities that used to be enjoyed.

Change in appetite or weight increase/decrease.

Sleep disturbances (either not being able to sleep well or sleeping too much).

Feeling agitated or slowed down.

Fatigue or loss of energy. Feeling exhausted, even when you wake up.

Feeling worthless or excessive guilt.

Difficulty thinking, concentrating or troubles making decisions.

Suicidal thoughts or intentions.

http://www.nami.org/

The above list is a summary of something called the DSM-IV which doctors use to diagnose the mental disorder of depression. Spinning off this, you will discover some other disorders, like:

Generalized anxiety disorder (GAD)

Panic disorder, panic attacks

Social withdrawal, isolating from others

Depersonalization/derealization

OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder)

Psychosis and paranoia, hallucinations

PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome)

Specific Phobias (fears of something)

SAD (social anxiety disorder)

Schizophrenia, or, schizoaffective disorder

Eating disorders (bulimia, anorexia)

One in four.

Even though mental illness is widespread in the population, the main burden of illness is concentrated in a much smaller proportion-about 6 percent, or 1 in 17 Americans-who live with a serious mental illness. The National Institute of Mental Health reports that one in four adults–approximately 57.7 million Americans–experience a mental health disorder in a given year.

Unfortunately, there is a great deal of misunderstanding and stigma for those who have these disorders. I suppose people often compare it to having VD (venereal disease) or AIDS. It seems that our culture is pretty quick at labeling people as deviant or undesirable.

I hope this helps somehow. I can see a 100 holes in it, and alas, it is a meager attempt. But perhaps it will be of some value. Both NAMI.org, Psychcentral.com, and WebMD.com all have excellent info on Mental Illness.

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Jesus Actively Helps Me

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“So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.“

Hebrews 4:14-16

These two verses out of Hebrews 4 establish three things.
  • We are “criminals” and in need of representation.
  • Jesus Christ stands ready, and able to help us before both this world and to the one to come.
  • Jesus still has a present day ministry as our priest and provider.

And he is busy! He did not ascend to heaven to wait around for his second coming. He is active, and we are being acted upon.

Saving you, and watching over you, is the present work of heaven.

But there is more, let’s look at the story of Paul’s voyage to Rome in Acts 27. He is a prisoner being escorted to stand before Caesar. He has a guard who is watching him as he travels by ship across much of the Mediterranean.

Because of the time of the year, the trip will be hard. The weather is very iffy, and awful storms could pummel a ship at times. No matter what, it will be a hard journey. Sometimes that happens.

 “When a light wind began blowing from the south, the sailors thought they could make it. So they pulled up anchor and sailed close to the shore of Crete. 14 But the weather changed abruptly, and a wind of typhoon strength (called a “northeaster”) burst across the island and blew us out to sea. 15 The sailors couldn’t turn the ship into the wind, so they gave up and let it run before the gale.”
16 “We sailed along the sheltered side of a small island named Cauda, where with great difficulty we hoisted aboard the lifeboat being towed behind us. 17 Then the sailors bound ropes around the hull of the ship to strengthen it. They were afraid of being driven across to the sandbars of Syrtis off the African coast, so they lowered the sea anchor to slow the ship and were driven before the wind.”

Acts 27:13-17, NLT

The storm is probably a once in a lifetime experience. It seems everyone is problem-solving trying to keep the ship from “breaking up.” They are fighting for their lives. After tossing over the cargo, and the ships tackle, they would have cut down the mast. Leaving it up would only weaken the ship’s hull, which reduces their chances.

They then did something called “frapping.”

It involved wrapping ropes or cables around the hull in a criss-cross manner. This outside strengthening would have been “levered” to increase tightness. It could be an effective way of surviving the unsurvivable.

There is a specific Greek word to describe this frapping. It is used in only one other place in the entire Bible. In Hebrews 4:16 we read–

“So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.“

Can you see the connection? In these desperate times when the storm is ripping up everything, attempting to destroy us– our families, our friends and neighbors. Just survival seems a long stretch. It is then that Jesus fraps (or wraps) us tightly.

But many of us go through typhoons with the cables coiled up on deck. We seem oblivious and ignorant of its availability. We really don’t see the “present tense’ ministry of Jesus standing to intercede. We merit nothing– but He promises us everything. We are on the knife’s edge of falling apart, but perhaps it’s our own fault?

I believe this message has not come to you by accident. You are either in the storm, or know someone who is there. The name of this post is, “Jesus Actively Helps Me.” I hope you will see it, you will need it.

“Jesus Christ carries on intercession for us in heaven; the Holy Ghost carries on intercession in us on earth; and we the saints have to carry on intercession for all men.”

     Oswald Chambers

ybic, Bryan

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A Savior of “Crazy People”

“For you are all children of the light and of the day; we don’t belong to darkness and night.”

1 Thess. 5:5

This is my personal testimony of the grace of God.

A year before I received Christ as my Savior, I was hospitalized in a U.S. Army psychiatric ward.  My uniform was replaced with the distinctive attire of a mental patient.  Ironically, I’d been attached to the same hospital working on the pediatric floor. 

And to make things only slightly more surreal was that a medic there on the psych ward was someone I bought drugs from!

Previous to this hospitalization, I had dropped two hits of LSD and found myself in an awful mess.  It was night out and I was hallucinating badly.  I had lost control of my thoughts.  I had pretty much flipped out and it entered my drug-saturated brain that the darkness would kill me, that very night!

Utterly convinced I was going to die, my mind seized upon the street lights outside. 

If I could stay in that illuminated circle I would escape dying. Somehow I knew that the light would save me. So I remained under that street light for several hours.  As I stood I could see very clearly the boundary between the light and the dark.  I knew I was safe as long as I didn’t wander, I knew I would stay safe.

But despite that very traumatic experience, the drugs and my mental instability continued to slide. 

I was now shooting up cocaine, crossing my “no needle rule.”  I also became quite the heavy drinker, with whiskey for breakfast.  I had one basic rule though.  As a medic who worked in maternal/child health, I had one of the best assignments in the Army.  Many people coveted it, and I was not going to endanger it with drugs or alcohol. 

I never went on duty loaded.  That was my rule. I would be the best medic the Army ever had.

Shortly after my psych ward discharge, I was reassigned to Labor & Delivery on the night shift.  One slow time I was pulled from my duty there to go on an ambulance run as the medic in charge.  We were called to the officer’s housing where an older man had died in bed. This got me thinking.  Back at the hospital, I returned to L&D.  But on the way back I took a shortcut through a ward on another floor.  That’s when I found it!

On a waiting room table was a small book called, “More Than a Carpenter” by Josh McDowell.  I picked it up, reading it right on duty because there was no one in the delivery room.  By the end of my shift, I was well on my way to becoming a Christian.  It was a book solidly speaking of the light, and of the dark.  And I knew beyond a doubt that I couldn’t remain in the dark anymore.

I was honorably discharged from the U.S. Army in June of 1982. 

I became a born-again believer shortly after that.  I went to Bible College that October.  Life has become radically different, and over time, I became a missionary, pastor, and Bible college instructor. 

I married my sweetheart and I now have a wonderful family. I attend a great and wonderful church faithfully.

I want to tell you that Jesus is real, He is alive and the Bible is true.  I have been lifted from the dark and I am not afraid anymore.  Jesus is my light.

“The people who sat in darkness
    have seen a great light.
And for those who lived in the land where death casts its shadow,
    a light has shined.”

Matthew 4:16

Some Very Good Links:

“How to be Saved,” gotquestions.com

Alaska Bible Institute, my Bible College, (a great school)

“More Than a Carpenter”, by Josh McDowell, (check it out on Amazon) 

 

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The Shepherd’s Oil

I have to admit, I always wondered what this verse in Psalm 23 meant. I thought “He anoints my head with oil” was a nice poetic phrase for God blessing David. But as I delved deeper into the context and explored different interpretations, a beautiful and profound meaning unfolded before my eyes.

First of all the act of anointing with oil holds significant cultural and spiritual symbolism in biblical times. It was a practice to anoint guests as a sign of honor and welcome, especially in lavish feasts and celebrations.

Anointing with oil also had medicinal purposes, as it could soothe and heal various ailments. (Now that’s interesting, I thought.)

In the context of Psalm 23, the phrase “He anoints my head with oil” takes on a deeper metaphorical meaning. It signifies God’s abundant blessings, His provision, and His care for His people. Just as a host anoints the head of a guest as an act of honor and hospitality, God lovingly anoints us with blessings and favor.

Moreover, the act of anointing with oil has spiritual connotations. In ancient religious rituals, anointing with oil was a sign of consecration, setting apart someone or something for a holy purpose.

This verse also portrays a practical picture of medicinal shepherding.

In biblical times, shepherds used oil to treat and protect the sheep’s wounds and keep insects away from their heads. By anointing our heads with oil, God brings healing and comfort to our brokenness, soothing our hurts and protecting us from the turmoil of life.

Sheep often can do harmful things to themselves as they try to find relief from flies and ticks.

Their ears and eyes can be targets for tormenting insects as well.

Sheep have been known to bash their heads against rock walls to dislodge flies from their ears, noses, and eyes. A good shepherd watches closely over his flock. He watches over them carefully.

A good shepherd knows that poured out oil forms a barrier of protection against these things that would try to destroy the sheep.

Have you ever asked God to anoint your head with oil?

Psalm 23 as a whole beautifully paints a picture of God as our loving and caring Shepherd, guiding us, providing for us, and protecting us. The imagery of anointing with oil further illuminates the depth of His love and the extent of His care. It reminds us that we are chosen and cherished by God, and that His blessings are abundant and unending.

But ask yourself these questions. Do you have times of mental torment? Do the worrisome thoughts invade your mind over and over? Do you beat your head against a wall trying to stop them?

The Holy Spirit can come with His endless supply of oil!

“You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.”

Psalm 23:5, ESV

Oh how He loves you!

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The Art of Denying Jesus

deny

“Suddenly, Jesus’ words flashed through Peter’s mind: “Before the rooster crows, you will deny three times that you even know me.” And he went away, weeping bitterly.”

Matthew 26:75, NLT

Three denials are followed by three reaffirmations.

“A third time he asked him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt that Jesus asked the question a third time. He said, “Lord, you know everything. You know that I love you.” Jesus said, “Then feed my sheep.”

John 21:17

The apostle Peter was a fervent disciple. He knew who Jesus was before most. He was always included in special times (e.g. the transfiguration, Gethsemane). He was favored by Jesus throughout times of ministry. I also believe that he was Jesus’ friend.

Peter is known for:

  • being called on the shores of Galilee, Matt 4:18-19
  • ‘almost,’ sort of, walking on water, Matt 14:29-30
  • finding the tax money in a fishes’ mouth, Matt 17:24-27
  • having his feet washed, John 13:6-7
  • in Gethsemane– cutting off an ear, John 18:10-11
  • his remorse at denying Jesus, Matt 26:75
  • running to the empty tomb with John, John 20:3-8

Peter’s own denials were of a serious nature affecting who he was, and who he was to become. Jesus astutely intervenes as they ‘breakfasted’ on the seashore. There would be three affirmations; one for each denial. Peter needed to meet the resurrected Jesus, and speak with him about what he had done. Peter needed this.

A denial has different intensities and can be understood in many different ways.

Out of our own confusion, we realize that we can also deny Jesus. Perhaps frequently.  (And none of us have any immunity as of yet.) We deny the Lord when we refuse to speak of him to others. We deny the Lord when we fail to do what is right. Sometimes we deny him flagrantly, other times it is a more subtle attitude. At best, we’re still inconsistent, and at worst (I hate to say it,) apostates.

We’re not punished or abandoned for this behavior.

(It seems like we punish ourselves though.)

Human logic would suggest that we should be condemned. But instead we are gently restored. Given the opportunity, Peter the fisherman, would eventually become a wise shepherd to the young Church. I would suggest that Peter’s personal weakness would serve him well as a gentle, and caring pastor.

Peter now understood these things, and he would be careful and gentle.

“God appoints our graces to be nurses to other men’s weaknesses.”

 Henry Ward Beecher

Peter, near the end of his life, goes ‘full circle’ and uses a very precise Greek word found in only two places in the New Testament. It is the specific form of the word “shepherd.” It is only used in John 21:16-17 in Peter’s restoration, and in 1 Peter 5:2. Peter encourages the Church with the same words Jesus himself spoke to him on the beach so long ago!

Peter wrote this:

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing.”

1 Peter 5:2

 

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Sifted Wheat, [Trial]

 

Threshing Wheat
“Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat.  But I have pleaded in prayer for you, Simon, that your faith should not fail.”
“So when you have repented and turned to me again, strengthen your brothers.”

Luke 22:31-32

I’ve been thinking about failure;  it is something that I am really, really good at.  In my over 40 years of walking with Jesus, I realized that I’ve experienced more weak moments then strong.  I have easily failed more than I have succeeded. I am embarrassed by this.  I’ve sinned, and failed more as a Christian, than I ever did as a pagan sinner. And things sometimes show little sign of improving. 

Simon Peter is about to undergo a trial so intense and difficult, that unless Jesus intervenes it will probably destroy Peter.

(The only other blatant attack where Satan seeks permission is in the life of Job. It is reasonable to believe that the forces of hell are concentrated on Peter.)

You and I undergo some of this onslaught ourselves.  We go through periods of intense trial.  Everything just falls apart, and we lose hope.  I’ve had several periods like that, it’s like a tornado from hell bears down upon my life.

But there is something remarkably good in all of this.

  • First, Jesus is praying for me to endure.  He is the faithful intercessor for my soul.
  • Second, He gives us a modicum of understanding by warning us of the approaching storm.  Peter is told ahead of time of what was going to happen.
  • Third, the wheat will be sifted.  Sifting or winnowing of the grain is necessary, it’s a good and godly work of the Holy Spirit. It is a good thing, as it builds your faith.
  • Four, you will survive to strengthen your brothers and sisters.

All pain and failure gives us a mandate to serve others. Our weakness gives us a spiritual license to become a shepherd of mercy and hope.  (You could say that you are now a licensed minister.)

We can ask for nothing more; it is a good and profound work to serve others.

In love’s work, only sifted people can truly serve.

 

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I’m More or Less Oblivious

Inspector Clouseau, (Upon discovering stolen artifacts) in The Pink Panther 2

“Ah yes, the Shroud of Turin! We will have to dry clean it before we return it.”

______________________

I honestly think that our bumbling attempts to follow Jesus are entertaining angels who watch our efforts and shake their heads in astonishment. “Did you see what Bryan just did?”

I’m the “Inspector Clouseau” of the spiritual realm.   😁  

Maybe you can relate?

Clumsy and very much oblivious, I bungle my way down the path of discipleship, without a clue. It seems when something right happens, I still end up butchering it. The Holy Spirit has His hands full. Scripture tells me He has no regrets.

We have experienced so much, and been given so much light.

And yet we consistently choose to trade it for a lie. For the most part, I don’t sin automatically, I sometimes choose it deliberately.  People don’t sin because they feel they have to. We sin because we like the pleasure it brings. We sin because it feels nice. It’s often a mask to cover the pain.

It’s a patch for the pain of my twisted up life.

We sin because it brings a thrill to our bodies, and excitement to the boredom of our everyday lives.  We sin because we believe the lie that the pleasure it brings, though passing (Heb. 11:25).

Sin happens when I look at anything or anyone other than God.

The issues I have are both spiritual and medical.  I survived a brain tumor and I need to walk with a cane. I have constant vertigo. My right arm is paralyzed. I struggle hard sometimes. I have some struggles with social anxiety. But God gives me buckets of His grace.  I know first-hand his agape love for me.

But He will not bless my disobedience and rebellion. 

When we announce to the world that “Jesus is Lord” we can expect God will hold our feet to the fire over this.  The Holy Spirit will not negotiate when we suddenly decide we are hungry for sin.  Apprehended by grace, we must fully surrender all claims we have to sample sin’s delights.

Who do we find joy in? It really does matter.

In the middle of my battles to be a believer, I must remember joy.  I cannot imagine being without it.  I’ve been clinically depressed pushed to the point of suicide.  But God gives me joy in my darkness.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”

Nehemiah 8:10

“For the Lord takes pleasure in his people; he adorns the humble with salvation.”

Psalm 149:4

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